Marriage...an idol?

Marriage is a beautiful thing, and one I have dreamed of since I was a tiny girl. Come to think of it, I believe nearly every dream I've had since my girlhood has been wrapped up in a man of my own, a family of my own, a house of my own...living in a large family encouraged such thinking, as my heroes, my examples, my life was made of such stuff.

But let's be candid, girls. Sometimes our dreams do not reflect the Lord's plan. As a "fortune cookie" my brother got the other day said, (Gracious me, we know not to depend on those!) "The only thing we can know for sure about future developments is that they will develop." (Truism, anyone? :P) And as a Christian, we have the assurance that those plans are made for our good. (Rom. 8:28) It is tempting to think we know more about our own hearts than Christ does. It is tempting to think we ought to "help" Christ orchestrate the plans because after all, we could never tread that path--He must be confused.
Girls, girls. We must learn to give our idols up. Even the idols unconsciously made. For me, for a long time, that has been marriage. Not that I have worshiped the idea, or even made overmuch of it. But I have feared and dreaded and balked against the idea of being what people have termed "An old maid."
I am reluctant to admit it to the world, but hitherto my thinking has been more along these lines:

"And if I am called to be single my entire life [God forbid!] then I'll do such-and-such." 

Living my entire life without marrying? Just sitting here for 80 years with no change in my daily habits? Sheesh! Not me, Lord. You must have another plan for me! I don't think I have the gift of Singleness.

 But lately my precious Savior has been showing me otherwise. He has not told me that I will never be married--for all I know I could be a wife within a year or two! But He has shown me that He is enough. I cannot live these days as a single young lady waiting for a husband. I could very well never be married--I don't know God's plan. So what good could it do me to sulk for ten years until I turn 30, resign myself to the idea of never being married, and finally get my act together?
No. If being a single woman all my life is what the Lord calls me to, I want every day from now to 30 and from 30 to 100 to be full and vibrant and joyful. I want to pursue things I am interested in, honing my skills and talents to be used for His glory. I want to be an inspiration to my sisters, I want to help my family and friends.

I want to go places and do things and live a full life.

If that includes marriage and my own family, praise the Lord! If not? I don't wish to be a dusty parlor-decoration...a proverbial bowl of potpourri dry-rotting in a corner while making sweet smiles and sighs over dried up, youthful dreams.
I have gained much encouragement from the biography of Amy Carmichael that Elisabeth Elliot wrote: A Chance to Die. (The best of both worlds, anyone? ;) Amy Carmichael is one of the most beloved women of all time, lived to a ripe old age, had a huge family in India, and yet never ever married. She was an amazing woman of Jesus--charming and vibrant, lively and merry....real.

I look at her example and I think, "Would I have the courage?" and then Jesus puts a gentle hand on my shoulder and whispers, "You don't need courage--all you need is Me."
And really, girls, that's the whole of it. We don't need courage. We need Christ. I am confident that the same Lord that keeps me today, that blesses me, prospers me, and holds me will be the same Lord that will keep me in whatever path He has prepared. That is all I need, and that is all that matters. We have Jesus, and "the fullness of Him who fills all in all," as Ephesians 1 says.

"All the paths of the Lord are loving and faithful" Psalm 25:10 I have pondered this verse lately, and have found that it feeds my spirit. All does not mean "all - except the paths I am walking in now," or "nearly all - except this especially difficult and painful path." All must mean all. So, your path with its unexplained sorrow or turmoil, and mine with its sharp flints and briers - and both our paths, with their unexplained perplexity, their sheer mystery - they are His paths, on which he will show himself loving and faithful. Nothing else; nothing less"

~Amy Carmichael