Koinonia: A Crazy Blessing

Throwback to the last night in Romania

I had meant to write that post about Orthodoxy and The Mind of the Maker like I said, but tonight something else came across my path and, being the little fox I am, I took a detour for a bit. This post was inspired by a post by my friend, Brittany Barden, on The Ivory Cubicle. Her article is excellent for many reasons, (a testimony of her recent mission's trip to Uganda--you should read it), but there was one section that tapped me on the shoulder with a "prickle of recognition". She mentions that she left America prepared to be changed, convicted, and challenged, but said that she did not expect the experience to feel so normal.

I didn't expect to sit in a mud hut, hearing that young boys and old grandmothers are the same the world over. I didn't expect selfies to be a thing with little African kids intrigued by my iPhone. I didn't expect to hear normal conversations about meeting friends for coffee, movie nights with neighbors, or a crisis pregnancy center on the other side of town.

This next bit was what really struck me:

My expected--even desired--lesson of better stewardship to result in greater giving flew out the window of that crowded van as God gently lectured me.

"These people do not need YOU or your money. They already have ALL that they need for life and godliness because they have Me. And before you can help them, you must first realize how much they have to teach you."

This is exactly how I felt when I went to Romania. I didn't expect to find people there who were exactly like people here. I didn't really think I'd be the one who felt given-to. When I came home from Romania and would talk online to the friends I made there, there was this funny give-and-take:

"You challenged us so much!" we would say.
"No, you challenged us!" they'd reply.

 It's a constant thing within my church-fellowship and among other believers that we're always deferring to the other person. That's a biblical trait, yes, but we take it too far. I can be guilty of discounting the effect I have on other people, telling them (in essence), "Oh, you certainly can't be feeling blessed and exhorted by me because you're the one teaching me stuff. I haven't done a gosh darned thing."
 Though my intentions are right (trying to be humble), I can sometimes actually begin to rob the blessing of being used by God by telling the friend that I didn't mean to bless them. We want to put others before us but we are also called to be aware of our ministry.

Maybe my Romanian friends and I were correct. Maybe the Ugandians and Brittany are both right. Maybe this is the principle on which the secret joy of Christian fellowship hangs. Too often in my life I have discounted the great strength which is to be found in fellowship with other believers. I mean, think about it; the word "fellowship" holds about as much meaning for us these days as terms like "get-together", "hanging out", "getting to know that seriously attractive person in a group setting" and "OH GOSH, SHE JUST ASKED ME ON CAMERA WHAT I LIKE ABOUT THIS CHRISTIAN CAMP." But what does "fellowship" really mean?

The term "fellowship" when used in the New Testament comes from the Greek word "koinonia". I remember when I was little we attended a church where they had a time before the service that we were always too late to attend; it remained rather shrouded in mystery and eclat for that reason. They called it "koinonia" and in my young mind, the word held associations of being successful (early enough for once!), getting Amish friendship bread, and something about cornucopias. (Don't ask me why about the last one.)
But back to koinonia. The word itself has roots meaning "joint participation". It comes from a family of words among which are meanings such as "the willingness to fellowship" and "partnering".

Koinonia...fellowship. Willingness to be a part of something. Willingness to be used in a partnership of mutual blessing. I think what Brittany felt in Uganda and what I felt in Romania 9 months ago and in my home just this afternoon...that humbled sense of unconsciously ministering and consciously receiving ministry...I think that's the real definition of fellowship. Perhaps we are more susceptible to realizing the beauty and importance of koinonia while away from our normal surroundings, surrounded by a peaceably foreign normalcy. The need for the richness of our sisters and brothers in Christ does not leave us when we board a flight back to America. It doesn't leave us when we've almost forgotten the heart-rending pain of having to leave that vivid willingness to fellowship we experienced while abroad, nor does it abate when we have begun to wonder if it was quite so beautiful as we remember it after all.
The hunger might be staved off, the pain might be dulled, and we might be like the dwarves in The Last Battle who convinced themselves their mired stall was a gilded hall. But we taste the koinonia sometimes when we least expect it, even here at home when our minds and hearts are dulled by the old normal,  and that is what makes one feel like crying in the last scene of The Return of the King when the fellowship is breaking up: they were a family of fools, gone through fire together, holding onto the light unflinchingly. They did life together. They had each others' backs. When one was weak, the other was strong. Sometimes they were all weak and in those moments someone would at last manage a grim smile and mention something about what they were doing on this Quest anyway, and they straggled onward and upward in the homely comfort of knowing they were in the company of those fighting for and against the same things.

A willingness to fellowship. Koinonia.

So next time you feel that odd sense of having gone somewhere to be a blessing and achieved nothing but having gathered blessing for yourself, don't freak out that you've somehow missed the ministry you hoped to have. Chances are, God has used you in a gracious display of koinonia. Chances are, the people you have gone to were ready for your message and you were ready for theirs. This is always our Father's way; just when we think there's a limited quantity of blessing, He grins and dumps something like honest to goodness fellowship in our laps in that insanely generous way of His.

The Partnership of Mutual Blessing...Just think how awesome Heaven's going to be.