{Framed} The Philosophy of Dressing Well

I've been bringing the topic of fashion back onto this blog the past couple of weeks. It's been just as much a personal challenge as it is for your benefit because let's face it: it's January; it's been raining or snowing for weeks on end; I'm out of money for coffee-runs; I've been working out consistently and it's starting to show a little; I'm out of conventional outfits which means I'm piecing together odds and ends and trying to look better than presentable. Growing up, it took me a while to notice that dressing and dressing well are two very different things. In one case, you're clothing your figure to avoid nakedness and cold and being ostracized by polite society. In the other case, you're using your body like a canvas to display a certain message; you're taking care with your decisions of what you are putting on that body. You are saying that you are beautiful and you care to notice and cherish the fact. Some girls have the desire to dress well but think it can't be done modestly. Others know exactly what message they want to slap across the face of mankind and dress accordingly with care and selfish intent. I want to propose the idea that you can dress with care in a way that brings your modesty front forward as its own unique beauty.

We have each been gifted with a certain beautiful body type. I don't want to hear anyone complaining they are an hourglass instead of a pear or a pear instead of an apple or an apple instead of an hourglass. God (and hence your bone structure) has determined already what sort of body you will have and no amount of dieting or exercise will change that about you. Kiera Knightley is skinny as they come and she's a pear. It's the hips, darlings. I know. I'm an hourglass/pear combo. Knowing your body type and dressing in a way that flatters it is important to dressing well and modestly. If I try to squeeze my pear body into a tight pencil skirt, it will cling to the wrong curves and not only look odd but immodest.

Our common society has this terribly wrong idea that dressing sexy means dressing well. I'm sorry if this conversation is going to make you blush, but it's a point on which I am adamant. Most of the time, dressing to look sexy means dressing look trashy. They assume that our goal as women is to look sexy, to be thought sexy, to promote the sex culture, and to end our acquaintances with men in the bedroom.

No thanks.

Our Christian society has this terribly wrong idea that dressing modestly means shapeless clothing, hiding your figure, and covering every single inch of skin that isn't necessary for breathing. Many women dress to hide their bodies as if embarrassed that they should have curves, as if their femininity cannot be celebrated except in ankle-length skirts and wrist-length tops.

Umm...no thanks again.

Dressing to look beautiful is where modesty and femininity combine in a far more alluring mixture than you could ever get in a massively figure-hugging dress. I think the most definitive quote on this concept comes from actress Emma Watson:

“I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing. If I do an interview with photographs people desperately want to change me - dye my hair blonder, pluck my eyebrows, give me a fringe. Then there’s the choice of clothes. I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that’s not me. I feel uncomfortable. I’d never go out in a mini-skirt. It’s nothing to do with protecting the Hermione image. I wouldn’t do that. Personally, I don’t actually think it’s even that sexy. What’s sexy about saying, ‘I’m here with my boobs out and a short skirt, have a look at everything I’ve got?’ My idea of sexy is that less is more. The less you reveal the more people can wonder.”

Dressing well means weighing your options, choosing clothes that aren't revealing some things and are making the most of others. My point in this post is not to discuss which is sexier but to discuss why we care to dress well. If our goal in our fashion life is not to look sexy and attract men via our bodies, why do we care?

{1}

It is a social grace

When a woman (or man, for that matter) takes thought with the manner in which she dresses herself, she is saying that she thinks you worth her time. She thinks the possibility of meeting with you--with anyone--worth the effort of thinking through her appearance. She tells the world with her grace and class that she takes her adulthood seriously. She values the physical way she was created enough to learn how to present it in its best and most beautiful form.

{2}

It is an act of worship

You might say I go too far in this statement. But if the definition of "worship" is bringing glory to and praising God, the way we dress our bodies can very much be an act of worship. Our bodies are canvasses for proclaiming a particular message: what message would you like to proclaim? I want people to be able to look at me and see that I know I am something special; I am an image bearer; I have dignity and beauty and a purpose here on this earth.

{3}

It is a kind thing

Wait. Did I really just go there? Yes I did. Too many women spend their lives hating their figures. I know. I've been there. I still get there sometimes. I get just as annoyed at you for still needing the gobs of self-image blog posts. But the best way to learn to value your appearance is to act like you value it. And I am quite serious when I say that you look at least ten times better when you've taken the time to put together a pretty ensemble. Seeing how you clean up is a huge morale-booster. Just don't forget the pretty smile along with the lipstick! 

{4}

It is an expression of creativity

One of the fun things about creating a personal style with care is that it is uniquely you. I would probably never wear a grey and yellow-striped shirt with a grey top, grey boots, and bright yellow blazer but my friend Joanna did because it is so her. And she looked fabulous, I might add. You might never mix patterns but I do. You might never combine glitz with utility or romantic styles with preppy undertones, but someone does. After you've learned the basics of what does and does not look good on you, the details are up to your own taste and that leaves room for all sorts of fun and experimentation.

{5}

It's a mental exercise

Seriously. Keeping it sharp, people. If you saw my closet at most times of the year, you'd hardly believe I am able to dress as well as I do. Being able to take a whole lot of fashion odds and ends, dream up creative color combinations and style-pairings, and drumming up the confidence to try something new takes energy and brain-power. Forget Mensa. We've got fashion on a budget. Who cares if you weren't born knowing how to walk in high-heels or color-coordinating your t-shirts? Anyone can learn if they put their minds to it.

These are only five of the reasons I believe that dressing well is worth the effort. This is my fashion philosophy and it has stood me in good stead for some years. Don't be afraid to enjoy fashion. Don't be afraid to try new styles, embrace old styles, forge your own style, and love being a woman.

Cheers, darlings. Femininity is a charming thing.