Boy Meets Girl...my thoughts.

I have been thinking recently on a topic that we conservative, Christian young women tend to shun. The topic of being friends with boys. My sister, Sarah, was recently given a copy of It's (Not That) Complicated by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin, and from what I've clandestinely peeped at, it's a hard-hitter on this topic. It's about time it was addressed! :D

First off let me make two points:

• I believe young ladies can be friends with young men.
• I believe its important to be friends with guys.

Now for the clarification points. When I say friends with boys, I do not mean that sickly, shallow:

"Oh yeah--Caleb and I are like best friends forever!!! <3 <3 <3"

 No chance! :D What I mean is friendship in its purest sense--two people who help each other onward and upward, who have kind, self-less intentions, who converse easily and pleasantly with one another, are interested in similar things, etc. I don't necessarily mean buddy-buddy with guys, but you can be friends with them. Relax.
Why do I say that? Because believe it or not, we actually have duties toward them as sisters in Christ. We are to encourage, edify, and uplift all believers, not just the "safe" female ones. In an effort to quell the rush of boy-girl, dating-mentality relationships, many Christians have moved in the opposite direction--to complete shunning.
We've all seen it, and it's pitiful. The girl who starts trembling and getting defensive the moment a young man speaks to her. Her answers are clipped and short, awkward and cold. The minute he leaves, (scared off, no doubt, by her cool reception of his entirely pure intentions) she sighs with relief.
It's so sad to see girls who are deluded by the whole boy-girl issue. When a girl blocks off relationships with any young men of any age, she is missing out on a vital part of Christian fellowship.
You see, having friends who are not girls gives you a whole new outlook on life. You are much more sensible when your female, chick-flick emotions are toned down by a practical, manly opinion of a relationship, a piece of news, a book, and many other things. Not all of your interactions have to be hard-headed, deep, theological conversations, but I'm telling you, guys think of things a girl would never happen upon in a million years of gushing girl-talks.
I love our home-church for several reasons, but one huge one is the relationships we young men and women have. I don't know how it happened exactly, but we've got one of the hugest pile of brothers and sisters in Christ who enjoy each other (without flirting, coupling off, and play-fighting) that I've seen. We have fun, we joke about things, we talk seriously about things, we discuss movies, history, music, books, current events, politics, social trends, scripture, many many things more as one huge family. I love all the guys in our church like brothers, and they love me like a sister. I think I can truly say that not a one of us has an ulterior motive in our relationships.
The way to relate to young men (and the way we should even relate to our girl-friends) is to approach the friendship on self-less terms. Don't act in ways that serve you. Act in ways that will serve, aid, and encourage them. Behave modestly, and be yourself, not some brainless Barbie-doll. You'll avoid all silly-girl actions in this way, and the guys will appreciate it. Believe me. :D
You see, it is not their being boys that make the relationships awkward. It's how we are viewing them. If every guy you meet is a Husbandus Prospectus, chances are you're going to be jumpy, nervous, and ridiculous around them. If you are viewing them as brothers and fellow fighters for Christ's kingdom, the awkwardness falls away and you are left with a precious camaraderie. :) I am not trying to say that the guys should be your closest friends, your confidantes, or your soul-mates. That's approaching more dangerous territory. And I'm not saying that you ought to be "friending" every random guy on Facebook. That's not really a true friendship. A friendship, in the correct term, is two people investing in each others lives, building each other up, etc. It's not "liking" each post Dillon writes, and trying to sound smart in conversations online. It's also not wise to be even as "close" to an un-saved guy as you are to your brothers in Christ.
I'm merely making a point that we have no right, we have no business to shelf them merely because they are not female. It's like...like backwards feminism! I believe that in Christ, young men and women can have beautiful, pure, effective relationships. It's really not that complicated when you think about it. :)

Lastly, I want to thank, by name, several young men I know for their friendship, their putting up with me, their honest opinions, their character, their good sense, and their encouragement. :)

First and foremost, for my brother, Daniel, for being my buddy all through our childhood, and even now. We are inseparable, and I fancy we always will be. Love you! <3

Next Important is my cousin, Matthew, for his Bingley-ish personality, for his congenial attitudes, his patience with my caprices, and his tolerance for my hare-brained inspiration.

Justin and Timothy Wright, for giving all of us lots of laughs, recommending movies like The Great Escape without telling me everyone dies, being great partners in Civil War dances, speaking easily on so many topics, and acting in general like great younger brothers.

BJ Taylor, for making me think, for your patience, cheerfulness, and that crazy four-wheeler ride where you, your sister Abigail, and I rode triple and you made sure you didn't dump me off my precarious perch on the back.

Daniel Tate, for your technologically savvy mind and technological donations to The Dinosaur Fund (my ongoing quest for a computer for my writing), your technological help with my blog-header, your political-labyrinth of a mind, your logic, and your sense of humor. 

These are the guys that come first to mind as friends I've spent the most time around, but there are many more young men that I will thank as a whole for their pleasant, innocent, brotherly camaraderie. Thank you! :)
It might seem like a bold stroke for the old regime of Don't Talk To Guys, but I approach these thanks out of the purest motives. I mean everything I have said, and I do my utmost best to practice thinking of young men as brothers in Christ. Girls, let's make sure that we take into account the kind of friends we are being to the guys in our life. Would they be able to list you in a post about girls who have shown them respect, purity, and innocence as sisters? Think about it. :) It'll change the whole way you look at the young men in your life. :)

"Let no one despise your youth,  but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, and in purity." (1 Timothy 4:12)

"Do not exhort an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity." (1 Timothy 4:17)