Hilarious Mail... :)

 

"It is my opinion that a person who can write a long letter with ease cannot write ill."

                -Jane Austen

My pupils may cause me great secret amusement with their definitions, spelling, and their answers to reading comprehension, but there's certainly nothing wrong with their imaginations! These letters came to me after I assigned Leah and Anna to write a charming letter from one character to another that had to be at least 2 pages long. I am  rather proud of them. Enjoy! :) (All spelling, grammar, and punctuation as the original)

Leah's Letter: Comprised of a plethora of commas, hyperboles, and a cold heart

Dearest Adelaide,
     How are you this glorious day? Has your cold bettered? As I write to you, I am siting in the Duke of Shamphires seat, and at his most equisite desk. The Duke's drawing room has just recently been decorated, and in the latest French style. Now, you may wonder, how on earth I came here, and I shall tell you.
I have recently made an aquaintence with his daughter. She is the sweetest creature I have ever beheld. She has a slight temper when she is riled. But beyond that there is no seeable fault with her. I am having a wonderful time in the country. We have attended 5 balls, 3 dances & 6 feasts in one week. Though I must admit, I was disappointed in their lack of propriety. What should I expect from country people?
But the Duke's "palace" brings a awed presence in that part of the Shampshire. When people enter the palace, of the most important people of the land, they seem to know they are in the presence of someone higher than they.
Anyway, dearest, you must tell me what have you been doing of late? I'm dying ot hear all the latest town gossip. Has Gertrude married that Italian yet? Has Jenny been to see you lately?
Oh! I wanted to tell you of this young man I met at the Himlet's ball. He was from France, doing a favor to his uncle. He had dark brown hair, with a head of curls, and 2 curls that must have escaped the comb that morning, and were standing impishly out of place. His manner was charming, but I could sense a sort of conceit about him. I must do him credit and mention that he was very gentlemanly and honored me by dancing with me twice. (Well, at least he thought he honored me,) but actually it was quite the opposite. I detested dancing with him, because I saw a man, who I liked much better, and he was moving toward me, and right then "he" had to ask me, and of course I couldn't turn him down.
How I long for you. I do wish you were here. Of course you caught cold right before the day we were going to go with Amelia's family. Well, at least I'm here to do the things here, so I can tell you on my return home.
Oh! Speaking of Amelia's family, they are staying here, at the Duke's house, as well. Amelia's been out almost every night we have been here, with a fellow by the name of William Ruxeby. I like him well enough, it is obvious she likes him too!
You should be proud of me, I have read a book of William Wordsworth's poems today. You are always wanting me to read more, so to oblige you, while you are ill, I did. And I have started one of Dicken's books as well, "Mansfield Park", I believe. Oh, Dear me! I mis-said the author's name. Jane Austen wrote, "Mansfield Park" Charles Dickens wrote a great many other grand books.
That's another things, the libraries here, are superb. There are 2 downstairs, and 2 above the stairs.
As I look about me, hanging on the walls, are portraits of 1 and twenty men and women. It is funny, because you can tell who had the cheery disposition, and who hadn't.
The ones in lighter colors were smiling, the ones in dark colors looked concerned.
Well dearest, the clock chimes 3:00.
               Yours Truly,
                          Mary Ann Willshod

Anna's Letter: Characterized in chief by quick, slashing handwriting, abundantly missplaced commas, and creative spellings. :)

Dearest Jane,
       It was good to receive a letter from you! I can only hope your visit in London has been as you had anticipated. I do wonder though, if you have yet visited Miss Bingley? She and Mr. Bingley have been in London for several weeks now I believe. My stay at Aunt and Uncle's home has been....quite pleasant, although at times I feel lonly and ready to return to Longbourn. I think Father misses me, but who can blame him wholly, for staying with Mamma and Mary and Kitty, I'm sure can get on one's nerves. Have you heard from Charlotte recently? I am going to come and see, her, when I get a chance. I do hope she is doing well. It worries me when dear friends don't write or come to call after they marry and settle. Maybe she is busy with visits to Lady Cathrine Debourg! Oh Dear Jane, almost everyday I think of Lydia, and Mr. Wickom. Poor Lydia, how could she expose herself, and her family, to such gossip and run away with Mr. Wickom. But it is not so unexspected from Lydia.
Jane, I think we both should try our best to comfort Mamma, and try to cheer up Father, because Lydia really didn't think about Father, or Mamma when she ran away. Please write as soon as you, can, althouhg I"m sure London keeps you constantly on your toes! Oh! and if you hear from Charlotte, please write to me and tell me. But I would hope she would write to me, before she would you, seeing as we are good friends!
                  Love,
                    Lizzie