I Know This is Crazy But....

At the wonderful, amazing insert-exuberant-adjective-here Transfer conference, we had lots of prayer time. Specific prayer for specific groups of people. Most times I found myself mainly outside the specified group of prayer-receivers, but then Ian McConnell took it into his head to say that he was led to pray for a group of people in the room who were longing to be in a relationship with someone. Those who were single and finding it a little difficult to content themselves with Jesus and Jesus only (quick note: how on EARTH can we not be content with that? Argh.), or those who were in a relationship they knew wasn't what God had for them, and were needing to make a decision. He asked us to identify ourselves by raising our hands so that the people near us could maybe even put their hands on us as we prayed.

There I was, running through my head all the new relationships forming in my groupies (including one of my stable-single-friends. :D) all the things God has been teaching me over the last year, and all the new inspiration He's been fueling me with. "Even so, I totally fit that former category." I didn't want to raise my hand and admit to all the world (i.e. the roomful of 400 Christians) that I struggled often with waiting on the Lord and satisfying myself with His love for me. I didn't want to admit that I could actually stand before Jesus, my Lover, and say that some days I found it hard to be content with only Him. But I knew I needed the prayer, and even if I was the single solitary person who raised her hand, I would do it or perish in the attempt.

I closed my eyes and raised my hand.

I opened my eyes, and a grin cracked across my face.

30 or 40% of the other people in that room had their hands raised, each of us with head bent, not wanting to be The One in the room who was admitting to trials with contentment. So many! The guy who looked like he could have any girl at the conference if he just smiled at her. The slender, tan, gorgeous girl with the flowing blonde hair. Me. The guy in front of me. A guy behind me.

And I felt in that moment such a surge of confidence in the newest Adventura God is leading me into. I haven't mentioned it here because I didn't want to announce something I wasn't sure of. But all the lessons I've received over the last months and year, all the conversations with multiple people in my season of life, even the topics touched upon at the Transfer Conference--all these things point with a strong finger to this:

I'm writing a Singles' Book.

Yeah, yeah come on, Rachel, you might be thinking. But here's the thing: This isn't going to be just any singles' book. It's not a 100 Easy Ways to Catch A Man. It's not a Push Through This Season, It's Gonna Be Okay.  The vision God has given me for this book is so much larger and different than that. It's not another Before You Meet Prince Charming, or a So Much More, or a Joyfully at Home, or a Preparing to be a Helpmeet. Those books all have their place, and have taught me quite a lot.

My book will be specifically for those of us who have graduated high school and/or college and find ourselves on the outside of the Wedded-Bliss crowd. It's for those of us who are apparently at least temporarily unable to catch the Love Bug and are not interested in sitting on our rockers waiting for love to come by. It's for those of us who want to live to the very hilt every single moment--not only of "this season" but every season in life. It's for those of us who are dead-tired of going places and meeting people and spending ridiculous amounts of time wondering if there will be anyone there who might fit The Bill.

It's going to be hilarious. It's going to recognize the difficulty of being "entirely unmarried" while we watch our childhood playmates standing at the altar and exchanging vows. It's going to be wild and whimsical (after all, I'm writing it with the input and help of my "crazy single friend" Katie), but most of all it's going to be a clarion call to a purposeful life. It's going to be written by a girl who is in the very throes of what it is to be a single girl with a sole purpose that is entirely contrary to everything the world is throwing at her. I don't have all the answers, but God does, and He's teaching them to me little by little, and this is not so much a How To Do It as it is a plea from one single girl to another to not waste our precious time. We were each placed here with a specific purpose to fulfill, and I'm only interested in discussing how we can fulfill our purpose every moment of every day, husband or not, Amen.

I'm telling you this, not to get praise for myself (goodness knows it's not going to be a New York Times Bestseller!), but to ask for prayer. I need so much prayer. Prayer that I would write what God wants me to write. Prayer that my heart would be gentle and suppliant, and that He will just pour the worship of His glory through my pen onto the paper. Prayer for stamina because I'm sure where there's been a dozen lessons already, God will teach me a dozen more. *smile* I've been planning and digging at the topics, and reading and listening and just living life. And that's what this book about except a great bit fat letter from me to You?

I am hoping to dig tooth and claw into the writing of this book in August, shortly after celebrating my 21st birthday on the 20th of July. :) When it is finished, I am planning to self-publish, though God might have other plans. I just feel like this is a book I am meant to write, to write quickly, and to get out into the world ASAP. We'll see. Hahaha. :)

I hope the rest of you see the irony of me writing a book about my Pet Struggle. But I do feel God is calling me to it, and He does delight to work through our very weakness. Please pray for me, and pray for Katie, and please comment with any particular questions/concerns/issues you'd like to see addressed in The Book! :)

Much, much love,
             Rachel