The Perfect Cuppa Checklist

Two thing have inspired this post.

Are you surprised?

Because of course, for me, it's never simple, is it? Never just one idea. Well. The two things that inspired this post were (1.) Forgetting I had made a cuppa and coming downstairs to find it cold. (2.) Reading Dead as a Scone and The Final Crumpet by Ron and Janet Benray. (Both of which, incidentally, are about tea.) Perhaps I might also honestly proclaim that this post was inspired by my love of tea, my spastic brain, and the fact that my toes are very cold right now and if I wasn't feeling "partickly" like a lazy bum, I would make some tea. That being said, ladies and gents, here is my tried and true Perfect Cuppa Checklist

Brewing the Perfect Cuppa

Most of us are not fortunate enough to have access to loose-leaf tea and strainers and all that lovely jazz and rigmarole that makes Brits turn their noses up at the American populace. They rightfully think we don't know how to do a proper job. That may be true in part and is all very well in theory, but certainly tea is a beverage that even we rebels deserve to drink? I've been a consumer of tea for a long while, and I know just the right way to do it. (Though the British probably frown on my practice of sugar and cream.) But too many times I've had cups of tea that were brewed by a scullery-maid who had been reading a penny-dreadful and cried her eyes out the entire time instead of watching the tea properly. I jest, of course, but great Scot, it's not often one encounters a real good cup. See, a proper cuppa isn't a watery beverage. Once you add the cream, it's almost as "thick" as coffee, and nearly as strong. So, to brew the perfect cuppa, here is what you will need:

Boiling water. 

Not hot. Boiling. 

"Unless the kettle boiling be, pouring the water shall spoil the tea."

Tea:

(My two favorites)

Natural Cane Sugar

(very important! I like demerara or turbinado best)

Half n' Half or Cream

A Tea Pot

A Tea Cup

(I do not allow you to drink tea out a mug. Silly business. Horrid. Only if you absolutely must. But it ruins the flavor, I'm convinced.)

Step One: Make sure your water is at a rolling boil. I promise you, this is important!

Step Two: Heat your tea cup and tea pot by rinsing them in hot water. This will keep them from cracking upon being filled with boiling hot water.

Step Three: Place however many bags you wish in your tea pot. I estimate depending on how many cups I wish to brew. Basically, a bag of P.G. Tips is generally good for a teacup and a half of tea. If my pot holds about eight teacups-full, I put 4 or 5 bags in the pot.

Step Four: Let it steep. You need to have the lid (and spout, preferably) covered so that the steam laden with lovely tea-leaf-oils doesn't escape. You want that the stay in the pot. Let the whole pot steep for 6-8 minutes. The stronger the better, if you want to do it properly.

Step Five: This is a tactic I read about in Dead as a Scone, but apparently the chemistry in a cup of tea is different (and improved!) if you add the cream to the cup before the tea. That would put Step Five as Pour a bit of Half n' Half in the bottom of your teacup. A couple of teaspoons should do the trick, depending on strong your brew is.

Step Six: Add the steeped tea. Your cuppa should be a lovely caramel color at this point. 

Step Seven: Add sugar to taste. Natural cane sugars like demarara or turbinado add the most amazing flavor to your tea. Don't use white sugar (even though the sweet little cubes are tempting!) and don't use honey (it changes the whole experience).

Step Eight: You are almost there! The only thing left to do on on our Perfect Cuppa checklist is to get a good book, find a spot near a sunny window, and rest a bit.

Enjoy your cuppa slowly! Life's too short to gulp your tea. :) 

"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated the ceremony known as afternoon tea."

-Henry James The Portrait of a Lady