In my own experience with seeing courtships among my friends and acquaintances I have seen many of these myths in play and it has hurt me to see so many people hurt in these ways. I pray that this article blessings you as much as it did me! :) Here's a sneak peek (click the links to read the rest of this insightful, wise post.):
I’d like to state right here, for the record, that there is no such thing as a “failed courtship”. A courtship that doesn’t end in marriage is not a failure. It is a myth that “courtship should always end with a couple becoming engaged”. Because courtship isn’t a commitment, it’s an acknowledgement. Or, at least, that’s the way it should be.
Interesting article... I don't completely throw out the concept of emotional purity, but it would depend on how one defined it, what the limits are, basically what *exactly* they are talking about when they say that. I think that you should (obviously) love the other person before you marry, or even get engaged. Loving them enough to marry them does have to do with emotions, obviously.
ReplyDeleteI've also heard it said that a courtship is only a failure if it ends with the two people not being able to go back to being friends. (It's obvious that it wouldn't be exactly the same as before, but you need to still be able to converse or be around each other without falling apart, even if it might be awkward at first, kwim?)
Mama and I were talking about much the same thing--there is that verse in scripture that says "guard your heart with all diligence" however we did come to the conclusion that emotions were not specifically referenced in that verse and while we have the responsibility to be wise with our hearts, there is no way we can be entirely *unentangled* with our emotions in a courtship. It is just not possible and the more people I speak with the more I see that it isn't fair to put that pressure on a courting couple.
DeleteBut I do agree with you that we must be wise and careful with emotional purity. :) But yeah, I think the article was speaking specifically about the myth of not getting emotionally involved at all. That's pretty much impossible. Especially if you aren't going cold-turkey "I'll marry you even if I feel nothing" route. :P :D
Thanks for sharing that Rachel. I thought the young lady had some good points. I do think that we should be careful not to just give our emotions free reign, and get too carried away, but I agree with you in saying that it's really not possible to keep yourself from getting emotionally involved. We are women after all, and very emotional.....it's how God created us. :)
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