Crashing the Pity Party

    Following a wonderful post by Miss Raquel, {yes, I was clever enough to link to the post} I was thinking about Love. What a capricious word "Love" is in our English language. By "love" we English mean anything from Nutella to babies to period dramas, to Sherlock, to Thor, to our guy and our God. We are quick to say the word--indeed, "Love" is probably one of the top words in English vocabulary simply because it has so many definitions.

    As single girls and women we long for the day we will be loved by a good man, and most of the time we are content with God's love for now. Yep. That's the problem. Those two little words tacked onto the end of the sentence. "For Now." Don't lie--you know as well as I do that those two words chase after your thoughts like hounds after a hare.
    I am as guilty as the next woman of viewing this single life as an in-between-time. I seem to view these years when I am unmarried as a "waiting period" as if: "Oh, the Lord's love is good enough for me now until He decides to bring my man along and then...then it'll be over and we'll all run along merry as the day is long."

     But therein lies the whole problem. I've been reading C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters and came across a very intriguing bit of correspondence between Screwtape and his nephew:

“You must therefore zealously guard in his mind the curious assumption 'My time is my own'. Let him have the feeling that he starts each day as the lawful possessor of twenty-four hours. Let him feel as a grievous tax that portion of this property which he has to make over to him employers, and as a generous donation that further portion which h allows to religious duties. But what he must never be permitted to doubt is that the total from which these deductions have been made was, in some mysterious sense, his own personal birthright.” 

     I had to feel convicted over that quote. I, like many others, seem to view my time as my own. I assume that my life as a single woman will come to an end someday, and in the meantime I look forward to that end with great expectation. What none of us take into account is that we don't know which part of the future we will have.

     What  if this "season" is one God has called us to for the rest of our lives? What if we aren't to be married or--and I am not being morbid, just philosophizing--what if we aren't to live as long as we expect? Do you really want to live life as a single woman with your eyes fixed on the horizon, never seeing all the gifts strewn around your feet?

     The thing is, Jesus isn't interested in convincing us to wait. What He wants is for us to fall so completely, unutterably, wholly in love with Him that we don't count moments and hours and days and weeks and months and years. He wants us to be consumed with a passionate love for Him that outer circumstances don't affect our willingness to be His. Yes, even marriage. Because for all the "Love" that we might share with a godly man someday, it won't last. The warm fuzzies will fade. You will discover he's a man after all, and even Mr. Knightley sometimes props his boots in the middle of the good china. Marriage is simply another step of life. A precious one, yes, but no more important in the eternal scheme of things than any other event you experience.

    Sometimes I think I'm guilty of using my love for Jesus {or His love for me} as an antidote. "I love Jesus--I really do. And I'm loving Him so much today that I don't feel anxious to be married at all!" Such a love can hardly be deemed a whole-hearted, selfless, tender affection and devotion to a person. It smacks singularly of selfishness. "I love you till" or "I love you because"--not a bit of that profound way Jesus loves us:

"I love you."

    No reason, no conditions, no expiration date. He loves us simply because that was His choice. And in return we learn to love Him. (1 John 4:19)

     So this is not another post on How To Wait. It's not even a post on Waiting Is Hard. {which sometimes runs closer to my frame of mind} I really want you to understand that. I've written and you've read plenty of posts about Theory. I'm asking for some Practice. Some determination to crash our pity-parties and get going with this beautiful life God has given us. How it must sadden Him and make Him shake His head to see us entirely missing the point of Life.
Life isn't an endurance test!
     It's a privilege. We can't just sit here tolerating singleness as if it was a dry, bony desert we couldn't wait to get to the end of. I'm not writing a Guide Book To The Piteous Desert.
     Instead what the purport of this post is, is a challenge to each of us to build a vibrant, sweet, lasting relationship with Jesus. A relationship that begins today and extends to death and beyond. A relationship that will still be the source of your joy, your contentment, and your peace when {and if} you are married, when the children come, when the children leave, when you're retired, and when you're eighty years old, toothless, and mental to boot. A relationship that is based on His ideas of love--not your idea of an antivenin. Because really...when all's said and done and Jesus is in the equation, who gives a wimpy hairpin if you've got a man?

{Desperata} an urgent missive

I knew it was too good to last. At present I share the sentiments of the fox who, after escaping from one horrible trap, falls in another ten feet distant that the crafty hunter thought to set for him. The pain of the injury is not the worst part. Nay, it is far out-shined by the sensation of humiliation in having to face this foe again.

Of what do I speak, my friends?

Let me wind you a tale of woe which, as the poet says, "holdeth the children from play and the old men from the fireside."

I am thought of by many as a clever woman...handy with words and fluent in literature. A woman of refined tastes who enjoys music, art, theatre, language, people, and many another genteel thing. I am thought to hold certain old-fashioned sentiments as relates to the countryside, romance, and dreams. I am known as a woman who loves travel and history, sophistication and the cosmopolitan side of life. I am thought of in this light and there is a deal of truth and reality in it. But what no one could ever accuse me of is the bare idea of being clever on the practical side of the brain. No one would think to accuse me of it because the possibility is laughable.

Logic, while shining as a beacon I could never attain, is not my forte.

I am lost when discussing strategy.

Debate and social studies, economics and many another thing are equally out of my grasp.

But nothing towers over these looming Unattainables like that nefarious creature, Mathematics. Oh how many years I was a slave to him, breaking to his will because I could not bend to it. Serving him at arm's length and tossing my pencil aside as soon as the last flourish of the final answer was finished. He was not much pleased with my service, for I was more often than not erroneous in my computations. But as every educated human must, I served this master for twelve years--yea, and beyond!

 The day of my graduation was a day of rejoicing among the nations. Even in that foreign camp of Arithmetic there was a measure of jubilation, for even my difficult master could not help but be relieved at the loss of such a pupil.

I lived for one short, giddy year of bliss under the delusion that I'd marry a good man, a clever man, who could teach arithmetic to my children. He would fill in where I could not. That I was, in short, finished with Mathematics for good and could spend the remainder of my days devoting my mental capacity to my chosen and beloved creative pursuits. But I erased from my memory a dark cloud suggestive of another meeting with my task-master. Surely, thought I, we shall avoid each others presence forevermore. What more can he want from me? I have paid my dues.
But it was not to be. My master had grown fond of me in his cruel fashion and demanded an interview. My courage quailed under what he proposed, wavered, and fell to his cold, flint-edged will, persuaded by my mother that it would be Good For Me.

A moment of weakness, though with my mother pressing on one side and my father {a sworn friend of Mathematics and Practicality} on the other, I had little choice in the matter. Even the companion of my bedroom, my dear sister, has defected to the side of Mathematics. She is predisposed to find his lessons easy, if not pleasant. He masquerades this band of villainy under the title "Stewardship Math"....I can only cross my arms and glare at this sad turn of events and hope my slavery will not smack of Algebraic equations.

This is the end of the long, sad tale. I have given my hand to Mathematics for a brief course in which he shall have his way with me. His capricious, practical, terrible way. There is nothing for it. He has convinced Mama that there are certain blanks in my education that only a rendezvous can fill. He has already entrenched my father in on his side. I am a doomed creature.

It is a relief that I do not believe in omens. Did I-- and were my mother right in saying perhaps I shall need my master's lessons in days to come--the prophesy for my marriage is not bright. For it appears that if I am in need of these further lessons as taught by Mathematics, my husband will be, among other things, a mawkish dolt who thinks of and delights in nothing but profit and loss, interest rates and credit cards, sporting scores and home repairs.

Heaven save me from such a fate if such things be true!

            With trembling fingers I sign this missive,

                                                                Desperata

(known to most of my acquaintance as Rachel: an unfortunate female of the non-logician variety)

When the frost is on the punkin'..

Life is picking up quickly as we start up schoolwork. Of course I'm a graduate so I don't technically have schoolwork, but I've set myself a goal that keeps me plenty busy enough each day. :) Everyone else is deep into their books and working hard. :)
I've always been a big reader but I've found it increasingly harder to actually make purposeful time for reading...when I do I generally go directly to my beloved classics and pass over other reading. ;)

{hee-hee}

So I decided I wanted to read for 2 hours a day, and divided it thus:

40 minutes of classics (including Shakespeare, which I'm learning to love)

40 minutes of history (includes biographies or general history)

40 minutes of life/Christianity

This new schedule's been working pretty well, and combined with my goal to write 1,000 words a day or do an hour of editing/research as well as spending up to an hour in the office, planning lessons for Leah and Anna, and helping out with the house, my days are full and productive. :)

But though it is technically still summer I cannot wait for all the of the lovely pieces of Autumn that make it my top-favorite season! <3 Some of the things I'm looking forward to?

Fall colors! We've had an exceptionally wet summer so I'm optimistic for a vibrant fall!

Autumn clothes. Best ever.

Scarves and jeans :)

Making Gingersnaps or these ^ Snickersnaps or Gingerdoodles! :)

----And please pardon this horrid mess while I change the look of the blog!--

Trios are my lot in life.

"I feel it a shelter to speak to you."

-Emily Dickinson

It's funny to think about life these days.

Dad always likes to remind us that the essence of life is Relationships.

Relationships between us and God first, then between us and our families, then sweethearts, and friends, and so on down the line.

I have such a variety of relationships right now that it really makes one's head dizzy. Especially when you think about the intricacy and complication of some of the individual ones. I have family relationships, I have here and now relationships with friends I see fairly often. I have relationships with friends I see not-so-often. I have a whole group of online friends like you girls, a group of writing friends, a group devotional blog friends, and then my relationships with my characters. (Which, for a writer, are real ones!)
These relationships vary in intensity and complexity. :D For instance: Levi and I are nearly twenty years apart, so that means that when he is just getting married I'll be The Older Sister Rachel who may or may not be married and will probably stand like a specter in the corner smiling benevolently while Levi swaggers down the aisle with a beautiful bride on his arm. ....it's strange to think about the future in that respect. :)

Then you have current-day relationships like making sure I'm spending quality time with all of the wee ones who surround me right now. I have five younger sisters...am I behaving in a way I want them to remember me on that day when Levi and Grace are starting families on their own?

Then, of course, you have what I have mentally termed "The Triangle" which consists of me and Daniel and Abigail...Daniel and Abigail increasingly close and me tagging along behind, learning to let them go and love this new relationship between the three of us. It is going very well, I think. I am tranquil and peaceful and make fun of them for setting their watches in the Lover's Time Zone which has no concept of hours and minutes. ;)

It's actually very funny to think back on my life and how the Lord has prepared me for this Triangular season. You see, much like Anne Shirley always had her twins, I've always had my Trios. It started five days after I was born when Katie Wilson was born. We've been friends since that first day, along with her older sister, Morgan. I grew up learning the fine art of busting that myth that "Two's company, three's a crowd." It just couldn't be true for me so I didn't let it be true.

Then when I got to be fourteen, fifteen, sixteen...somewhere around there, I met two more dear sisters who made up my second trio: Joanna and Maryanna. Our relationships weren't perfect then either. We had to work out the kinks of spending enough quality time with each person. And really, I've always been on the business end of the trio. I've always been the one dividing myself between the two. :] (At least in these cases)

Right now I have a triple set of trios...Morgan, Katie, and I, Joanna, Maryanna, and I, and Daniel, Abigail, and I.

"Trios are my lot in life!" ;)

God knew that He had this season between Daniel and Abigail coming up and He's been training my since I was five days old for it. :D Isn't that wild? But He does work in these ways sometimes and I am so glad that I have some experience in dealing with a threesome so that getting used to these new dynamics isn't as painful as it might have been.

...But it still feels at times like I'm stuck in a period-drama....everyone getting married and moving off and "saving China." ;) Ah....that's life! <3

{Dear World} In defense of sunset-watching

Hello everyone! This is a post I wrote up for Two's Company {the blog I share with Sarah} and I thought some of you might enjoy reading it, so I copied it here for you. Enjoy.

 
Dear, Darling,World,
     Tonight I took time to lay aside my broom in the middle of evening chores and watch the sunset. A simple thing, but one that might tell a lot about a person if you'd only listen.
It is a maxim of mine never to grow too busy to watch a sunset. You see, a person who is too busy to watch a sunset now and then is to busy to live, and if one is too busy to live, then one had much better die. It sounds harsh, yes, but if you'd only bear with me a moment longer you might understand...

What do we rush through life for but to get to the end and look back with a sigh of relief? Then it is the end you are rushing after, so go ahead and rush toward it if you will. I'm afraid I take a rather Peter-Pan-ian view of this life:
Of course I want to be in Heaven with Jesus, but I am not one of those cardboard people who think this world is rotten through and through with nothing to enjoy. Heaven will be marvelous, I know. Far better than anything I've imagined it out to be. If I knew what perfection is I'm sure I'd die here and now from sheer longing to be there. But how can one be quite certain that there will be sunsets? One cannot be certain of anything on that account because there won't need to be a sun with God's glory shining. Now wouldn't it be a shame to get to Heaven only to realize that you'd missed all the sunsets on earth? Heaven will undoubtedly have things far more beautiful than a sunset, but think of the benefits of taking a bit of time to lay aside your broom! What a longer life it might give you, just because you watched a sunset. Think of it in a logical manner:

1. You lay aside your broom, therefore you add a moment of leisure to your life that might never have existed.

2. You step out onto the porch and your skin soaks in the last rays of vitamin D while you heart and soul are fed by this beauty of the Lord's making. Right there, one has ministered to all three parts of one's body.

3. You let your mind wander a little which improves brain capacity and intelligence.

4. You watch this sunset with your senses alive to the beauty of the world--the colors flooding the sky, the sound of the frogs and crickets, the feel of the cool air against your skin. Thus your awareness of your five senses will be heightened and your dinner will taste better

5. You go back inside and you are in a happier mood.

6. You finish sweeping and probably do a much better job because now that it comes to it, you can see all those spots you missed.

7. You live your life this way, stepping outside to watch sunsets. Once you get to Heaven you see there might not be any sunsets, but there is something infinitely better--you are slightly prepared for the glory by absorbing beauty in little doses.

8. You are twice the winner--you tasted heaven on earth, and you'll recognize earth in Heaven.

So you see, watching the sunsets will extend your life, make you healthy, wealthy, and wise, and all around improve you in every manner. How the philosophers would laugh at my reasoning, but I say Let Them. I guarantee that I'll be the happier by the end of this life while they argued that I was the one in error. :)

Love Everly,

                  Rachel

// box hill //

If you recall before I left Virginia to travel down to Georgia, I mentioned that I was concocting a "Box Hill Plan? Well, that plan was to take a day and go with the lovely Wilson girls up to Colonial Williamsburg. Just daring enough that it was an official trip, just close enough that we could run home again if needed. ;)

Well...we did. It was amazing. 

Ham sandwiches (the best I think I've ever eaten), lemonade (frozen the night before and thawing while we traipsed about!), strawberries, apple pie, and more, all eaten on a blanket under a tree in front of the Insane Asylum...ahem. Yeah. :P (okay. It used to be an insane asylum in Those Days. It's a museum now.) Also, we happened to have chosen a spot that was actually a bus stop, and we were the only shade around so we had a crowd of strangers witnessing our repast! Haha! I fondly christened this plan our "Box Hill Trip" and so of course, being the Austen-lover I am, I roped Morgan into reenacting the Box Hill Scene from Emma while Katie took pictures. :D She got to be Emma since I was the only one of us wearing pants that day. :P 

"I'm sure I'll love anyone you pick out! Only she must have eyes that are just the shade of yours." 

(Don't I make a charming rake? ;)

Frank: "You must say one thing very clever, two things moderately clever, or three things very dull indeed."

Miss Bates: "Three things very dull indeed? Why, that'll just do for me. I'm sure to say three things very dull as soon as ever I open my mouth."

Emma: "Oh--but there is a difficulty--you must limit yourself. Only three at once."

After mastering that part of the scene I decided to try Mr. Knightley. My sweater-vest was perfect for pulling into a high-collar and cravat...I tried desperately to keep a straight face...

"Badly done, Emma. Badly done indeed!"

Breaking...

Breaking...

Entirely broken into hysteric giggles.

Ahhh...it was a lovely day. <3

Fashions for Fall

Getting excited for fall fashions? I am! I think the possibilities of Autumn and Winter fashion-wise are so cozy and cute! <3 Here are some of my favorite pins getting ready for the cooler weather!

I want a red slouch beret/tam. I need a red tam. <3

These shoes from Shabby Apple! So adorable, even if they're more like Spring.

And though my figure in a thousand years would never be this slender, I love that outfit ^

Ooh look! More Kate! This coat = temptation for me to get rich quick so I can buy one. :P

And another coat I adore. <3 I need a princess-style coat...I just do.

Can't begin to tell you how much I love the details of this dress....

I love well-tailored clothes! <3 But I'd make the buttons black here.

Boots! I love boots with a passion...even though my stupid calves won't fit in many of the straight ones. :P Good grief...the woes of being a substantial sort of person. (yay for Shrinkage!)

Very pretty Maxi-dress for the cooler months.

I love daring patterns.

Doth I see Cary Mulligan in here? I doth.

This belt is very close to a Christmas present a friend got for me last year. :) Can't wait!

Sweater-vests are really cool too!

What are your fall-fashion favorites?! I can't wait for cool weather!!! <3

Capering and Cookery: Almond Loves--without flour or sugar!

For a long time I've needed to commit to a variety of Shrinkage Plan, but I don't like the idea of dieting. It seems so...pie-crust-ish. You know, easily made, easily broken and all that lovely Mary Poppins stuff. A change to your diet though--now that's different because it means you are actually eating healthy. Not depriving yourself of essential things like natural fats and oils and all that.
That being said, I decided to go off of wheat flour and sugar for a time. I am allowing myself to still eat some honey/agave nectar and that sort of thing, but no traditional cane sugars or wheat flours. :) I plan to depart from this mantra now and again--it's not a forever and always sort of change...just a most-of-the-time one. :)
But I'm a baker after all and it's next to impossible to not want to bake something "sweetbutteryan'delicious" as my little sister would say. I certainly don't intend to deprive myself forever of all things amazing. :D
So I set out to find a recipe that would not take hours of work, and yet would not include flour or sugar. And I found it! They are little macaroon-like cookies called Almond Loves and are perfect for gluten-free people as well as anyone who wants a cookie but doesn't want to get plumpified eating them! :]
I've shared the recipe below and I hope you'll try it out some time and tell me what you think!

Almond Loves

• 1 3/4 c. whole, blanched almonds

• 2 egg whites

• 1/3 cup honey

• 1 Tbs. vegetable oil

• 1/8 tsp. ground nutmeg

• 1/8 tsp. ground ginger

• 1/8 tsp. ground mace  

• A dash of almond flavoring

• 1/4 c. all-fruit jam (I used raspberry :)

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Coat cookie sheets with nonstick spray or parchment paper
2. In food processor or nice blender grind together all ingredients except jam till a smooth (ish) paste forms. (I added a little unsweetened coconut, but that is only optional)
3. Drop teaspoonsful onto the cookie sheets. With a wet spoon make a little "thumbprint" in the tops of each cookie, then dollop the jam inside.
4. Bake 10-12 minutes until lightly golden.

Makes about 20 macaroon-sized cookies

Company, company. Where would we be without company?

This past weekend we had some of Dad's old highschool friends down from NY. The Giardinas and Dad go wayyyyy back, and they come often in their huge long bus and visit us. Dad and Mr. Mark ended up taking off the entire counter-top, lifting it over the wall into the living room, putting on the back-splash, and then putting it back on. In the meantime the rest of us went berry-picking.

It started to rain right as we were wrapping up so we dashed to the van...only to see that it had died. It's a common problem in our home, actually. All you have to do is bang the battery with something and wiggle the wires. So I did that [in the pouring rain] to no avail [in the pouring rain.]

It was fun, by the way, though there was some danger, I suppose, of getting electrocuted. In the end we finally managed to pull a Damsel-in-Distress moment and the nice Blueberry Man gave us a jump as well as 4 bags of tomatoes, 3 bags of okra, and 4 pints of blueberries for free. :)

*win* ;)

Last night we ended up going out to dinner at the local pizza-place--a very rare treat for us! It was delicious. Absolutely delicious. All the more delicious because I knew that the next morning (this morning) I'd begin "shrinkage" and not be eating flour or sugar. 

(All right...I'm hungry now and this is looking even better than it did last night!)

Of course sitting next to the baby insures you a prime opportunity to snag the free packets of crackers for yourself...

"I'm innocent! Rah-ly I am." ;)

Sarah's 18 now...that means she gets to start wearing makeup. :)

Benj, Grace, and Abby chillin' on the front porch.

He's almost walking! Still needs a little help, but he's getting bolder.

"Would you like to see my mask?" ;)

It was a great weekend and I was so blessed that the Giardinas could come, that we could go berry-picking, that we could hang out, and then top it all off with pizza! :)