{The Shrinkage Diaries} Paleo Fudge

This is fudge.

This is also healthy fudge.

This is also crazy-delicious, why-haven't-I-made-it-before fudge.

This is also gluten-free, dairy-free, refined-sugar-free fudge.

I just thought you might like to know.

It's creamy, delicious, and disappeared quicker than you can say "Bobshruckle" (It took me about eighteen years to realize Bert in Mary Poppins was saying "Bob's your uncle". I still prefer my way). If you're in the middle of a Shrinkage Plan (like me), you seriously ought to consider making this fudge. Also, if you're on a Paleo diet, this is compatible with that, so cheers! I've slung the recipe at you below:

Paleo Fudge

• 1/2 c. almond or peanut butter
• 1/2 c. cocoa powder
• 1/2 c. coconut oil
• 1/4 c. raw honey
• Dash of vanilla if desired

1.  Combine all ingredients in food processor until smooth and creamy. If desired, stir in shredded coconut, chopped nuts, or dried fruit.
2. Spread into waxed paper-lined pan and chill for 30 minutes before cutting into squares.

Hope you make and enjoy this healthy treat soon! It certainly makes resisting bad-for-you foods easier to bear. And if you use peanut-butter, it really does begin to taste like a dark chocolate Reese's cup! Friendly toward your body, easy to make--what more could a girl ask for?

The Shrinkage Diaries: Hot Cocoa Revamped

Good news, people! The Shrinkage Diaries is back. I haven't been posting about it recently, but I am still eating better and exercising more than I did in days of yore. Haven't been AS lovely about it as my sister Leah who is now a little skinny-minny while I am still...not, but I am doing far better than I once was and I like how I feel when I'm working hard. :)

In the last two days we've had the first fire in our woodstove and the first snow. Of course it wasn't much snow and it didn't stick but for an hour there were spittings of white precipitation that was undoubtedly snow. And that's a big thing in Southern Virginia, to get snow in November. It is a truth universally acknowledged though that with cold weather comes the desire to do sedentary things like sit by that fire and read James Herriot and drink hot cocoa. Also to listen to Christmas music. I almost never listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving as I don't want to get tired of it, but somehow with the weather being so cold and everyone from the radio-stations to Ann Voskamp playing the old favorites (not to mention the girls practicing carols on the piano) I'm starting to slide into the realm of listeners. I'm actually feeling very holidayish: we're having two friends to Thanksgiving who are single and have no family nearby to spend the holidays with. Cannot wait to take Tatum Black Friday shopping for the first time! To counteract the demands all these cold-weather activities make on my waistline, I took a long walk in the cold, biting wind yesterday and arrived home with all my makeup wiped off by the tears I kept having to wipe away in the face of the blast. Feeling thoroughly frozen at that time, I marched into the kitchen and made myself a cup of hot cocoa. But not any cocoa, since I didn't want to undo the benefits of the walk for which I'd sacrificed my carefully-applied smokey-eye makeup. This cocoa is what I call "clean". No one, not even the Chocolate-Covered Katie herself, could crrrrrriticize its ingredients. (unless she's lactose intolerant or something) I mentioned something of this wonder-drink in a Facebook post and it was suggested that I post the recipe here after I explained what the heck "clean hot cocoa" was. Of course posting a recipe meant I'd need pictures which meant I'd get to make more today...so I did. Here, then, is the result:

Clean Hot Cocoa:

• 2 Tbs. (or less) of pure maple syrup
• 2 Tbs. cocoa powder
• A dash of salt
• 8-12 oz. milk (I usually go for 12 or it gets too rich)
• Splash of vanilla

On the stovetop, whisk-together the maple syrup, cocoa powder, and salt. Stir constantly while simmering for one minute, then whisk in the milk. Heat cocoa per your preference in temperature. When hot enough, remove from stove and stir in vanilla. Enjoy!

This cocoa is smooth, rich, and creamy (and would be more-so if I had been able to get hold of some raw milk), and you won't miss a thing from the normal junk that is full of refined sugars! Feel free to adjust the ratio of maple syrup to cocoa powder--mine was a little sweet. I am excited to have worked out a clean way to have cocoa this early in the cold-season. Also in preparation for the fall/winter, I have been training myself to drink tea and coffee without even honey as a sweetener so hopefully my waist will continue to shrink. (ha. HAHAHA. ha.) Stay tuned for more "clean" holiday treat posts! I want to try my hand at peppermint-bark, fudge, gingerbread men, and more! Let's see what I can do, and if my waist survives the holiday season! Let's call it: The Shrinkage Diaries: Candy-Cane Style. ;)

Toodles! Let me know if there are any specific recipes you'd like me to renovate and I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, drink this hot-chocolate without guilt: your health will love you and give you a nice slap on the shoulder for being such a spiffing fellow.

The Shrinkage Diaries: Strawberry Fudge Brownies! Serios!

Don't be scared...it's just Amy and I imitating the Bears. :D

Shrinkage is still going well, though somewhat delayed since coming home. I haven't been exercising much, which I am going to make a goal of this week. It's funny how getting out of practice of a thing makes you rather reluctant to do it! I love experimenting with healthy recipes of every sort, but some of my favorite things to work on are Clean-Eating desserts.

I mean, really. Who can resist a dessert? Not me. And I knew that giving up refined sugars and wheat-flours didn't have to mean the end of everything amazing.  I like to know my food blogs, and for a long while Smitten Kitchen was the place I went (and still go) when I wanted a weird recipe like homemade Wheat Thins or Goldfish or Graham Crackers. Brown Eyed Baker was a close second with any and every recipe . And when I was feeling really French and adventures, I went with David Lebovitz for something like his divine Lemon Curd. But obviously a paradigm shift in diet means I can no longer frequent sites like Smitten Kitchen or Brown Eyed Baker. They have become the rarest of treats.

But I'm still not panicking. Because, well, this is where Clean-Foodie blogs like Chocolate Covered Katie  come in. Do you realize, people, that CCK is a blog devoted almost entirely to clean dessert recipes? AH! I have tried several and have loved each one. Other great Clean-Foodie blogs are An Edible Mosaic and Gracious Pantry, which I have likewise scoured for recipes to satisfy my family's collective sweet-tooth. There are so many I have yet to try that look amazing, like CCK's No-Bake Coconut Crack bars. I mean, really people. How can anything that tastes as good as these recipes be healthy for you?

I'm developing an understanding that healthy actually tastes a whole lot better.

That being said, the other day I had an urge to making something delicious for when Abigail Taylor arrived. I hopped on to CCK and chose Chocolate Chip Everything Bars. Now we all laugh, knowing that I am an untraditionalist when it comes to following a recipe, and I'm always altering even the most simple things to fit my preferences. The first problem came when I didn't have chocolate chips. Or enough coconut. Or nuts. Or freeze-dried berries. or xylitol, and I really didn't want to use sugar. Oh yeah. I didn't have stevia either.
Before you dismiss me as being crazy for settling on a recipe I didn't even have the ingredients for, you have to do two things:

1.) Look at this picture:

2.) Remember I'm very good at this sort of thing.

You can't resist the one and you can't deny the other, so hush for a second while we move onward. I started substituting this for that and her for him and them for y'all and you know, eventually these weren't Chocolate Chip Everything Bars. They were Strawberry-Fudge Brownies. Now you may laugh, and then enjoy the recipe, which I'm posting below.

Srawberry Fudge Brownies:

• 1/2 c. oats (rolled or quick)
• 1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
• 1/4 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 3/4 c. dark cocoa powder (I used Hershey's Special Dark)
• 1/4 c. shredded coconut (you may use up to 1/2 cup)
• 2 (15 oz.) cans white beans, drained and rinsed
• 1/3 c. dates soaked
• 6 Tbs. coconut oil
• 4 Tbs. applesauce
• 4 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1 c. fresh strawberries, diced
• A sprinkling of chocolate chips would be nice if you had 'em.

1. Preheat oven to 350 F. and grease a 9 x 13 pan.
2. Combine all ingredients except strawberries and chocolate chips in a blender or food processor, and blend till completely smooth, scraping down the sides when necessary.
3. Stir in strawberries and chips by hand, then smooth into pan.
4. Bake for 30 minutes and cool completely.

Makes about fifteen brownies...if they make it out of the pan

These are absolutely to die for. The batter was a little disappointing flavor-wise...you could taste the beans a little bit. It was like chocolate-hummus! :D But something magical happened in the oven, and the caterpillar was transformed into an elegant chocolate butterfly. Abigail was astonished. Dad was more astonished. He's not been eating sugar for at least 9 months, so he walked in and was like, "So, is there anything good to eat around here?"
I gestured to the plate of decadent, fudge-y brownies sitting on the countertop. "Those."
"Yeah, but they have sugar."
"No they don't," I laughed.
"Yes they do."
"Dad, really, they don't."
"What?" and then he took one and tried it and I think I'll be his favorite daughter from now on. ;)

Kidding. But honestly, you really need to try these brownies. You can leave out the strawberries if strawberries and chocolate together aren't your thing, and you'd still be left with a killer brownie: moist, fudge-y, deep, and impossibly, deliciously dark. You'll never taste a better clean-eating brownie (or a better regular brownie!) unless, of  course, it was my Single-Lady One-Serving Brownies. But those will have to feature in another post!

Would you like me to continue the Clean-Eating Recipe posts? I'm having such a great time trying out these things and sharing them with you. Do you have any favorite healthy-food blogs? I'm always on the lookout for more!

The Shrinkage Diaries: Breakfast in the Bahamas

Dear Figure,

      I bet it'd be really easy to be skinny in the Bahamas. It seems like a place where--since one is required to wear a bathing suit even at Christmas--one would be more conscious of eating pineapples and mangoes and other fruits. I have friends who were in the Bahamas last week. Yup. They're an amazing couple who work really hard and deserve a vacation like this. Still...for those of us winter-bound in Virginia, it can be a bit...ehhhhhhhh... to see the photos of these friends on pristine beaches, looking like an ad out of a travel magazine. Jill even got sunburned. In March!

So! What's a girl to do when the sun is just starting to warm up, and you, Figure, are requiring something schnazzy to keep inspired to trim down? I make a Bahama Breakfast, that's what! Pair this "clean" muffin recipe with a smoothie made out of frozen pineapple, mango, and peaches blent with coconut milk, and voila! You'll look like a beach-bum in no time. :)

Choco-Tropic Oat Muffins

I started with this recipe, but quickly expanded the add-ins to make these unbelievably delicious, exotic muffins! Perfect for a spring morning!

• 2 1/2 cups rolled oats
• 2 tsp. baking powder
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1 c. yogurt
• 2 eggs
• 1/3 c. honey
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• 2 ripe bananas, smashed
• 1/3 c. unsweetened, shredded coconut
• 1/3 c. slivered almonds
• 1/3 c. dark chocolate chips, chopped

1. Pulverize oats in blender or food processor until you have a "flour". Add in other dry ingredients.
2. Mix wet ingredients together, then add to dry. Mix with a few quick strokes
3. Line muffin tin with papers, and bake muffins at 400 degrees for 15 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

Makes 1 dozen muffins

These muffins were way more delicious than I'd even hoped. I mean really--did you ever think you could make a muffin that had not flour or sugar?! I'd heard of replacing the sugar with honey, and even done it before, but most times the muffin ended up tough with a leathery "skin". These muffins are fluffy at the same time they're full of texture from the coconut, almonds, and chocolate chips. Definitely a keeper recipe: one to use over and over again!

In other news, I'm creating: Shrinkage Diaries: The Cookbook for my own use. Can't wait to stock it with many more of the recipes I've been experimenting on!

The Shrinkage Diaries: and some days you'd like to kill the cat

Dear Figure,

       Today I'd like to bite nails. Like...metal ones.
       Today I'd like to throw something.
       Today I'd like to go to a Krispy Kreme and eat every raspberry doughnut on the place.
       And yes. Today I'd almost like to kill my cat.

The reason? Eh. I don't know that I have one. To quote a friend, "It must be a Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays." And as for the cat, I came downstairs this morning and was greeted by Dad very sweetly saying: "Good-morning, but your cat apparently couldn't use her litter box last night and went in the laundry basket."

Oy vay.

Yeah. Not an auspicious start to my day. I think this strange humor began last night with a chocolate craving.  I almost caved and made brownies, but I am so glad Leah wouldn't let me. Instead I went to Pinterest, and from there to one of my new favorite recipe sites: The Gracious Pantry, and oh. my. stinkin'. goodness.

Figure: I totally owned you last night. How?

By whipping up a batch of her Clean Eating Double-Chocolate Oreos. I'm not even kidding. These things...they're...they're....they are "simply too too too diveen!" For real. As my FB feed would show...

"I will NOT eat all the clean-eating oreo dough before baking. I will NOT!"

And really. It was hard not to. Sarah was a skeptic and didn't want to admit that the smell rising out of the oven was akin to ambrosial breezes from the ever-after. But seriously, girls. Who cares about eating clean. At the moment these cookies were ready to come out of the oven, I would challenge the staunchest junk-fooder to say they tasted "too healthy." These are not only the best clean-eating cookie I've ever had...they are the best chocolate cookie I've ever had. Even counting everything bad-for-you I have tasted my whole life through. For reals, people. For reals. And to raise perfection an increment higher, yesterday was the 101st birthday of the Oreo cookie! :) Perhaps it was the Dutch-processed cocoa Mrs. Vandebrooke gave us that lent these cookies such elegance. So rich and divine you could only eat one stack. You only dared eat one, for fear of what might happen to you if you experienced such grandeur over again. ;)

Whatever it was, I am never going to taste anything quite that craving-quenching in my life. Now. The recipe.

Clean Eating Double-Chocolate Oreos

Cookie ingredients: 

8 oz. almonds ground into "flour"
1 c. unsweetened cocoa
1/3 c. honey or maple syrup (I used honey)
1/3 c. coconut oil
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla

Filling ingredients:
1/4 c. coconut oil
1/3 c. unsweetened cocoa
3 Tbs. honey or maple syrup (I used honey)
1 tsp. vanilla

Step One: Blend almond flour and cocoa powder together in bowl. Add other ingredients and mix well with a wooden spoon.

Step Two: Form walnut-size balls and flatten with the palm of your hand till cookies are desired thickness. They will not rise or flatten in the oven, so what you see is what you get. Form accordingly. Place on parchment-lined baking sheets. Bake at 350 degrees F for 15-20 minutes.

Step Three: Blend all filling ingredients together in blender or food processer, and keep in fridge till thickened. You might want to add a little more cocoa if your filling is too runny, but it will firm up and thicken as it sits a moment so wait to add anything till you're certain.

Step Four: Once cookies are cool, assemble with filling between two cookies.

Makes 10-12 sandwiches

So Figure? Never again am I going to lament that I can't entirely satisfy my chocolate craving while catering to your touchy whims. Because, honestly? Even if I threw my hunt for you to the wind, I'd never find a better-tasting recipe than this.

The Shrinkage Diaries: It looks like a bird's nest...

Dear Figure-seekers!

If you would be so kind, take a look at the picture below....

This is a severely inauspicious plate of food.

Honestly. It looks like a cross between a haystack, a bird's nest, and what I used to pull out of the garbage disposal when it got clogged up. (That is, before we moved out to the country where we can't have a garbage disposal system.)

Look at it again.

It looks bland at best, I know. But this is pancit, and it is one of the stinkin' best Asian dishes there is to feed a large crowd. My first introduction to pancit was way back at the church where my Dad worked as assistant music pastor. There was a Philippino woman in the choir, and on occasion she would make pancit for us. Then a Philippino couple moved down the street from us, and she made us dinner and lo and behold, pancit popped up again. Then we moved churches and house, and I forgot all about this amazing dinner until we were at a friend's party, and there again was a huge bowl of the stuff. In fact, I'm pretty sure it was at a Narnian costume party to which I went dressed as The Lady of the Green Kirtle. I ate pancit again, and boom! Right back to memory lane. 

The best part about this meal is that it's waist-friendly, (more-so if you use chicken instead of beef) and qualifies as Shrinkage food because there's not a smidge flour or sugar, and it's packed with veggies. Also, it's gluten free, because those are rice-noodles up there, not wheat, which makes them much better. It would be awesome if you could buy brown-rice noodles, but for now these are great.

Pancit is one of those things that is great for feeding large families because it's kind of a catch-all dish. You can use any kind of meat in the dish. (We've used chicken, beef, shrimp, etc.) Really whatever you have on hand. Last night we had ground beef, and I'd never done that before. When I think of Asian cuisine, ground beef isn't exactly the first thing I think of. I knew I'd need to kick the recipe up a notch of I didn't want dinner to taste like a Teriyaki-Burger from a Japanese McDonald's.

Fast Fun Tip: While rummaging around for the best chili recipe for Dad, I had stumbled across a website that I can't find now. The guy writing the article mentioned that most of the time we don't "brown" ground beef, we "grey" it. In short, we put too much meat in the pan at once and it basically boils in the fat without ever gaining that awesome "browned" flavor. This time I took my pound of ground beef and did it in three separate chunks, smushing the ground beef into patties, sprinkling a bit of soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, red pepper flakes, salt, and minced ginger over the top, then flipping the patties and breaking them apart. This is THE BOMB and allowed me to impart a vague Asian flare to the ground beef which was lacking beforehand.

Okay. So now that we've established how you have to cook your beef if you are using beef, we can get on with the real recipe. Again, it's a "per your own taste" thing, so the measurements for spices are going to be rather ambiguous. I change it every time depending on what we have on hand and what flavors I'm feeling. 

Pancit

• 1 head cabbage
• 1 red bell pepper
• 12 carrots
• 2 onions
• 3 tbs. minced ginger
• 4 ribs celery
• garlic
• 1 lb. ground beef (or other meat, chopped)
• 1/2 c. soy sauce (and a bit for serving)
• 1/2 c. lemon juice
• 1/4 c. rice vinegar
• 1/4 c. Worcestershire sauce
• Salt
• red-pepper flakes
• olive oil or sesame oil
• peanuts
• 2 packages rice noodles (we use Mai Fu)

1. Start by slicing up all vegetables sensibly. The idea is not chunky--it's long strips to match the noodles. I left my carrot round just because they'd go farther, but onions, cabbage, and peppers can be cut into strips. Toss all veggies in a bowl together.
2. Brown the ground beef per my instructions further up the post. Set aside.
3. This is going to get majorly messy, and this recipe feeds a lot of people. A whole lot. Like...twelve of us with leftovers. So you'll need three skillets on the stove. Pour a bit of olive oil into the bottoms of the pans, and sautee leftover ginger and a spoonful of garlic in each man till golden. Divide the veggies into the three pans, and sautee for ten minutes until the vegetables are tender. Dash all your soy/vinegar/worcestershire sauces over the vegetables and continue to cook. Sprinkle with salt and red pepper flakes. When vegetables are done, cover and let steam while you work on the noodles.
4. Rice noodles are really cool because you don't boil them. Your first step will be to pull the noodles apart and put them in the bottom of some great big bowl. Then you will boil a kettle-full of water (a couple quarts) on the stove. When it is at a rolling boil, pour the water over the dry noodles, cover the bowl with a tray of some sort, and let steam until noodles are tender.
5. Drain your noodles, and mix the noodles, beef, and vegetables together. Add more soy sauce to taste, and mix well. This will kill your arms. You may have to chop up the noodles a bit in order to be able to stir.

Serve on plates and dig in! This is a wonderful meal for a party because it's pretty cheap and goes a really long way. Plus, it is delicious, and easy to throw together; you really can't go wrong with seasonings. At different times I have sprinkled in tons of different spices, drizzled a bit of molasses, dabbled in some clam juice...anything you have on hand. Take my word for it. 

Try this recipe next time you are having an Asian-themed party or just a great big family get-together. It's delicious, and everyone will want the recipe. Then it will be your turn to tell them you pretty much did it on the wing, because with pancit you can't go wrong. Plus, your figure will thank you for making life easy.

The Shrinkage Diaries: My Version of Working-Out

Dear Figure,

       You have the right to remain silent during this post, because today I'm not talking to you at all (we're not speaking, 'member?) but to the other girls who have been lurking about asking just with what am I battering you into being? In short, what sorts of exercises have I been doing?

Well, there's several levels to this. First off, I'm a firm believer (and have discovered this by trial and error...mostly error.) that fresh air is an important part of feeling fit and fabulous. You can treadmill all day, you can do a Pilates workout, but till you are out in the sunshine and fresh air, you're not gonna feel very energized. So, one of my most common things to do is to take a long, brisk walk outside. Nothing fancy, but I try to keep my buttom tucked and my stomach in. The usual loop I do is about 4 miles. It takes me about an hour...maybe a tidge longer, depending on if my shins are hurting or not. No, don't freak out. I don't have anything wrong with my shins (that I know of) it's just that one of them has been hurting rather a lot and makes it uncomfortable to walk quickly for long distances. (I do it anyway.) One trick I've found to the whole "long walk" thing is this:

When you think you are finished, go a little further.

Passing your house? Take one more quick loop around the neighborhood. I live way out in the country, but there are a few roads that make a triangle, and are each about a quarter of a mile in length. Often I'll add an extra loop around the triangle, adding nearly a mile to my walk just with that little effort. So walking is great for overall health and fitness, but I have major issues with several areas on my body that walking just isn't fixing fast enough for my preference. ;) My bum has shrunk, yes, but other areas I wanted to focus on. (i.e. my non-existant abs and my jiggly arms.)

For a while I was doing some Marine Corps arm exercises that Abigail taught me from her brother's Good ol' days at boot-camp. I couldn't find any instructables for these, so I can't share them here, but they are called "Sungods" and "Chain-breakers" so ask your closest Marine if he knows how to do them. ;) But I was soon rather tired of the monotony of just sitting there, and then my dear friend Julia showed me a series of Youtube videos that I am now a sworn fan of. They are part of a series called "Blogilates" done by a woman named Cassey Ho who is just so peppy and encouraging that you feel as skinny as she is before the workout has even begun. The workouts are balanced, healthy, and fairly easy in a ouch-that-hurts-but-golly-it's-good-for-me kind of way. Some of them are even done to music. :D You can find printouts for lots of her workouts here.

I did some of this one this morning..... Ouch. :D 

My favorite videos (that I've tried) are:

The Official Prom-Dress Workout

(Fairly easy, but watch out for the leg circles. Ouch.)

Call Me Maybe Squat Challenge

(Trying this is just a couple minutes)

That's What Makes You Bootyful workout. 

(Following it up with this if I'm not dead. ;)

I will warn you and say that she wears work-out clothes and some of her outfits (as in the Bootyful workout) are not guy-friendly. I personally don't have a problem working out with these videos as I'm totally dying there on the floor and not even paying attention. But I would advise against doing these while brothers are around. :D  Still, I have found these workouts to be fun, quick, and effective.

Though my arms are still very jiggly, I am already seeing definition between the Marine workouts and these videos. Hurrah! I am adding sit-ups to my routine as well, because I realized yesterday that I honestly have no stomach muscles. Really. It's pitiful. So I am on a roll to change that,  because I consider stomach muscles essential to life as a Mama. (someday)

Another thing Mama does (and that I do rather often as well) are a series by Teresa Tapp called T-Tapp. They are workouts that focus on no-impact strength and core-training, and are really healthy and balanced as well. I love the fact that Teresa Tapp was a physical therapist so she knows what's what and how to align the body correctly and all that. These videos are such stress-relievers, and relatively quick. (Basic Plus takes 15 minutes.)

Basic Plus to Tempo

Step Away

Hit the Floor 

(synonymous with killer pain ;)

You can read up all about T-Tapp at the website....

Anyway, these are some of the things I have been doing and enjoying. We have an elliptical machine as well, but in a lot of cases I'd just rather go on a walk, but it is a great thing to have for rainy days, or the days you don't have enough time to go for an hour walk and have to get it done quickly.

My target-areas to work on in the next while are:

Abs
Arms
Legs

What are yours, and what sorts of exercises do you like to do? Plus, have any of you tried Zumba, and does it actually work besides being fun to do? :D

                     With Definitely Aching Abs and Thighs,

                                                                         Rachel

The Shrinkage Diaries: When the Wallet's Shrinking but you're not

Dear Figure,
       Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
^ Do you hear that? It might look the wail of a small mosquito, but actually, it's the sound I made all this past week as our pantry emptied, we waited for checks in the mail to be able to stock back up, and the choices for healthy eating dwindled. I mean, really. Okay. So I know I haven't been religious in my NOTHING FLOUR and NOTHING SUGAR this past week, but I have been exercising and I have been eating mostly none and none. Yeah. Valentine's day threw me off.
        But anyway, I was sitting on my bed yesterday around lunchtime reading up on Alexsander Solzhenitsyn and generally lost in Communist Russia when Mama poked her head through the door and informed me that she was working on school with the younger ones, and would I be so kind as to fix something alive for lunch because she couldn't eat any more "dead food" if she was a POW in Stalag 13. Or maybe it was "I would throw up if I had to eat any more popcorn." (I've heard it both ways.) I was just stuck in Russia, remember.

"We have...cucumbers, cabbage...some onions...oh! and chick peas."

And then she went downstairs, and Figure? I felt you dancing in high glee because you thought I would have to make something wretched like cabbage soup. I mean anyone who has seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory will remember...

"Oh. Well....nothing goes better with cabbage than cabbage!"

But if I made something wretched like cabbage soup, it would appear that your bet was winning, Figure, and you were convincing me that eating healthy tasted like...dishwater. Perhaps it was the influence of Communist Russia that sent me to Google, but I sat down at the computer and typed in "raw salad cucumbers cabbage" not expecting anything to come up. But something did. Something from a Russian cooking website (the sterling truth) and I decided to try it...and what came out was absolutely delicious.

But to feed eleven or twelve people off of a cabbage salad while all right for Charlie Bucket & Co. is a little weak and wimpy and giving-uppish. In all my digging I found that we did have some carrots so I thought to myself, I thought: "Aha. Let us make hummus  out of the chick peas. Oh...but we don't have lemon juice, do we?"

No lemons. Not a juice anywhere. Not even lime juice, which works in a pinch. But I wanted hummus. I really wanted it, and I sat there for a moment, thinking rather harder than usual. Then the proverbial lightbulb came one and I decided I'd outwit our pantry.

No lemon juice?

No problem.

Instead I used red wine vinegar and a generous sprinkling of lemon-pepper seasoning. The result was Mediterranean in the extreme, and an awesome coupling for the Russian Cabbage Salad. Lunch was delicious, healthy, and unique and what's even better--built off a pantry and fridge as emaciated as Alexsander Solzhenitsyn after leaving his Gulag Archipelago. Below I've posted the Salad Recipe for you readers who are also standing victorious over your Figures! :) (I would have posted the hummus recipe too, but that'll have to wait for another post because I deleted the picture I took, and I hate "blind" recipes.)

Russian Cabbage Cucumber Salad

• 1 head cabbage
• 2 cucumbers
• 1 onion
• 1 tsp. salt
• 2 tbs. vinegar
• 2 tbs. olive oil

1. Slice the cabbage in thin slices, then sprinkle with salt and knead (like bread dough) till the cabbage begins to look a little juicy.

2. Slice cucumbers into quarters, then slice quarters. Slice onion into thin slices. Mix into cabbage.

3. Drizzle with olive oil and vinegar (adding more to taste if desired) and mix 'er up.

Makes rather a lot 

Things like cabbage and cucumbers are really cheap in the scheme of things. The other day Mama and I were discussing the fact that Hispanic food and potatoes are always really cheap (though not particularly good for you) because the Irish and the Mexican cultures aren't known for having an overabundance of extra money. But you don't have to have a diet based entirely off of cheap corn and potatoes--there are vegetables that aren't exotic (like carrots, cabbage, cucumbers...even some peppers) that will be fairly easy on the budget, and very easy on your waist, so try buying those instead of more potatoes. :P

                

          With a temporarily stocked pantry at last,

                                                                 Rachel

The Shrinkage Diaries: Plateaus and Peaches

Dear Figure,
       Well.... we've had some intense moments of WILL YOU EVER SHOW YOURSELF!? this week, but I know that's just an attempt on your part to hide yourself from me and make me give it up. But know what? I'm not going to give it up because that would be lamer than you being a coward and hiding. I call this stage in Shrinkage the "Plateau". It's the time when you've shrunk along quite well for a week or two and suddenly stop "seeing" the results. You feel great, yes, but the results aren't visible. These are the times that are easiest to revert to your old paths, but these are also the defining moments when you'll see if you have what it takes to rummage up a Figure.

I am determined. Though I did buckle for a couple tiny slivers of Sarah's buckeye brownies, I successfully avoided many things this week that could have totally become snack-time. Including the beautiful, aromatic cinnamon raisin biscuits Dad got up and made this morning. I sat there with my energy bar thinking about you, Figure, and wishing we hadn't toasted the sesame seeds this time because it made the bars taste like savory crackers crumbled in honey.

But I didn't cave.

On Pinterest I saw a list of things called "The Skinny Rules" and one of them stuck out as being a really good piece of wisdom. (something Mama has always recommended, and I follow.) Plan one meal a week that is your fun meal. Have something at that meal that isn't necessarily good for you. It might be some pizza on your family pizza night. It might be a little cheesecake at a church dinner. (*smiles at Julia*) It could be anything, but it keeps you from feeling deprived.

I've been experimenting further with awesome sugarless-flourless desserts, and here is the promised Peach Froyo recipe. I made Chocolate-Banana froyo and the peach froyo, and the peach was by far my favorite. :)

Peach Froyo

• Two cups Greek yogurt
• 2 cups fresh or frozen peach slices
• 2-3 Tbs. honey
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
• 2 pinches sea-salt (this is essential, as it brings out the peach flavor!)

The only steps here are to stick it all in the blender and blend it till it's....blent! (And Shakespeare uses that word so THERE!) Then you dump it in a loaf pan, and stick it in the freezer for a matter of 3 or 4 hours. If you leave it in longer than that (and even then) you will want to let it sit for about 20 minutes to be soft enough to scoop. I used a cookie-dough scooper to scoop out the froyo because this is really really rich and you don't want a lot of it! What I served my helping in is a small teacup, and you can see the size-reference from the almonds. :)

So dear Figure of mine, though you're deluding me with thinking you'll never come out of hiding, I am continuing on my exercise regime, continuing on making new and wonderful recipes and living a life of Shrinkage!

For those of you who are already shrunk or already eating healthy, I'd encourage you to send a brief note to a friend who is still fighting for her Figure and for general health and fitness. One of my dear friends Facebook-messaged me just letting me know how proud she was of me and that she entirely supported my fight for a Figure and admired it. That made my week, and I intend to pass the favor on someday. After all, how could she have known that I was having a Plateau Week? You never know when your little message could mean the difference between excellent Peach Froyo or Buckeye brownies. ;)

             Much much determination and tough-love,

                                                 Rachel

The Shrinkage Diaries: Almond Joy Truffles

Dear Figure,

     The start to this week has been most wonderfully heartening because despite the fact that it has only been a week on the quest to you, I did think Sunday that I caught a glimpse of you lurking about. Mama further pleased me by stating that my body seems to respond nicely to Shrinkage efforts and she could tell after one week that I was on the right track and that I was gaining a waist. Yippee. I've foiled all your attempts thus far at eluding me.

      But at certain times in a girl's life, she craves treats, and when she is trying to find a Figure (yes, in spite of the buckeye brownie she chose to eat on a coffee date), she goes on a track to find the best recipes. And sometimes she decides to fling caution to the wind and completely change a recipe so it doesn't look a thing like the original. Thus, Figure, I have outwitted your schemes to make me crave chocolate, and I now present for you and all other Shrinkers, the Clean-Eating Almond Joy Truffle. 

Clean-Eating Almond Joy Truffles

• 3/4 c. almond butter
• 1/2 honey
• 1 3/4 c. rolled oats
• 1/4 c. unsweetened, flaked coconut
• 1/4 tsp. cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1/3 c. cocoa
• 1/2 c. raisins
• 1 Tbs. + 1 tsp. coconut oil
• 60% cocoa chips for dipping

1. Warm almond butter and honey

2. Mix other ingredients together, then add the almond butter and honey and roll into 1" balls.

3. Chill for a little while you melt chocolate chips with the additional teaspoon coconut oil. Remove from fridge and dollop chocolate on tops of truffles.

4. Cut a few raisins into triangles and poise on top of truffles.

Makes approximately 30 truffles

Figure...these things are killer. Seriously. They taste just like Almond Joy bars, and certainly don't leave you wanting for anything else. I managed to exercise every day last week. What is hilarious is that I didn't mean to exercise Sunday, but I worked myself into a rather bad humor and decided to dose myself with one of my fierce, wonderful walks on which I pray aloud and come home cheerful as you please. I ended up walking at least a mile and a half or so, which made me laugh when I realized God had managed to change my attitude and help me with Shrinkage all at once.

I did see you Figure. I really did. And this T-shirt showing less lumps is witness. Boo-yeah. Stay tuned, Figure, for more shockingly amazing recipes which include Peach and Chocolate-Banana Froyo recipes!

    Chasing after you with a club and my awesome truffles,

                            Rachel

The Shrinkage Diaries: This Means War

Dear Figure,
     I woke up this morning feeling very fine indeed, and with all the best intentions in the world of continuing on my happy road to health. After all, the when the sky is filled with fluffy, tangerine-colored clouds, who's to complain? Certainly not me. I got up and I did my arm exercises, courtesy of the Marines.

Yes. Laugh. Do.

They are called "Sungods" and "Chainbreakers" and, having never clapped eyes on a Marine whose arm muscles I didn't admire, I figured it couldn't hurt to try it out myself. I've done every day for nearly a week, and I am not too sore. I can't decide if this is good or bad. Does it mean I've got more muscles up there than anyone could guess from the look of it, or does it mean that I'm just not Marine-material? I suppose time will tell. A week is certainly not time enough to form Hawkeye-esque biceps and triceps.

I went down to breakfast, thinking that I would make something yummy. But there was a scheme afoot: the pantry is trying to hide you, dear Figure, from me! We need to do the grocery shopping and the only thing (pretty nearly) to be eaten were bagels. Lots of bagels. And I love bagels. But you would be proud of my dedication, Figure, and my ingenuity because do you know what I did instead? I invented a new breakfast packed with protein and potassium that I liked enough to toss into my repertoire for Shrinkage Breakfasts! I sliced a banana down the center, slathered it with All-natural peanut butter, and bedecked it with exactly six Ghirardelli 60% dark chocolate chips. This is yummy. This is nutritious. This fits the bill exactly, so I was happy. And to all the rest of you Vegans and Raw-foodists, this could easily be adapted to your diet!

I thought I'd snap a picture of the shadow of a figure I happen to possess right now, so as to document it's shrinking state till you, dear Figure, come to be. I thought it'd be nice to post a photo once a month of your progress in becoming a Proper Figure. I don't anticipate any Willow-Wandishness from you, but a nice Lumpless curve would not go amiss.

I was further tempted in my day of Shrinkage by a seductive, quad-layer chocolate cake that the whole rest of the family was partaking of. This is a very good chocolate cake (I know from experience) and if you knew just how good, you would certainly applaud me for my tenacity in resisting. I've been looking upon lots of lovely Figure-aiding things to cook on Pinterest, and I can't wait to write about them in the future. For now, I'm girding up my strength to resist further battle: I am off to a 21st birthday party where there will undoubtedly be more cake and ice-cream, and possibly lots of other fattening things. I will try to find the things I ought to eat, but if for some horrid reason there was none of it, then Moderation! (And Zumba and Just Dance 4 afterward, which is already scheduled and therefore very convenient to the Shrinking Me.)

Between teaching English Lit and cleaning the house for church, I did our work-out video (more on that in a later entry), and was careful to position myself directly in front of the TV so my head was balanced on Teresa Tapp's body. This enviable position is usually taken by Mama or Anna, but I got it today. Do you know what happens if you don't get this spot? You're stuck staring at yourself while exercising in the double glass doors. One side deludes you by making you look tall and slender, and the other is a horrifying picture of yourself if you failed Shrinkage and went quite in the opposite direction. With those two options before oneself, who would choose the chocolate cake?

I will have you, Figure, whether by hook or by crook, so don't gloat.

It's so unbecoming.

Yours,
      The Shrinking Me

The Shrinkage Diaries

One of my goals last year was to start exercising more. I was pretty consistent with that, but this one of my goals this year is to kick that into a higher gear. I want to start exercising often. Like pretty much everyday. And I want to switch the majority of my diet to no-flour-no-sugar instead of doing it in spurts. See, I feel so much better when I eat this way and exercise that I have no idea why I ever go back to sloppiness. Of course I know I won't always follow this regime to perfection--in fact, I love the way my Mama goes about her health. She says that eating healthy is its own reward system, and works great because if you do want some chocolate cake one day, at least you know you've eaten healthy so many other days in a row it's not such a biggy. She's always told us that diets don't work. And it's really true. I know a guy right now who is "mining for muscle" by going on some crazy diet where all he eats 6 days a week is coffee with a little butter in it. Literally. Sure he's going to lose weight, but once he's done with this coffee-kick, he'll gain it back. The idea is to change your lifestyle. Mama has taught of us girls this maxim, and I am really planning on working at this this year. All of us girls are, really, and Anna (who has the head-start on the rest of us, not being plump) is probably the most consistent. :D

But you know how discouraging it is when you sit there on Pinterest scouring the site for inspiration and all you can find are pictures of super-fit women doing things like this:

Like, "Oh!!!! SARAH! If we just stand on tippy-toes while we brush our teeth we'll go skinny!!!"

Yeah.  Not inspiring. So I thought I'd start a blog series about our quest for health and fitness, starting from now. It's going to be painfully funny, very sarcastic, often informative, and always cheerful. Because everyone knows the Road to Shrinking is fraught with peril...and chocolate cake.

The Shrinkage Diaries: 

The sometimes successful, always hilarious journey toward a figure

I'll post funny stories, inspiring tips, recipes, updates, guest diary-ists, and pictures. Just keep an eye out for updates. I've put up a page where I'll link to each entry in The Shrinkage Diaries. And hey, if you'd like, take the photo and stick it up on your own sidebar, linking to the Shrinkage Diaries page! 

I am so excited about this, and can't wait to kick it off for real! :D