Doughnutty

On our rare most recent library trip, Sarah got a Cake Boss cookbook. Now, I don't know if any of you have watched Cake Boss, but our family loves it, and it is on several of the kids' bucket-lists to have birthday cakes made by Carlo's Bakery. :D Benjamin is quite practical about it:

"If I start saving up now, it'd only cost...y'know...like a thousand bucks to get a simple birthday cake."

Well-said, dear sir. But thank heaven for Buddy Valastro's willingness to make a Cake Boss cookbook so little boys like Benjamin don't have to break their bank to satisfy their sweet-tooth. (I don't charge) Though, come to think of it, Benjamin is ten times (quite literally) as rich as I am, so it might not be that long before he could afford a Carlo's Bakery cake. ;) To further clue you in, in a proposed road-trip to NYC which will probably never happen, a large stop on the way will be Hoboken, NJ for the original Carlo's Bakery where we hope we don't have to drop, say, ten bucks on one cannoli. But of course since Labor Day was Monday, Tuesday felt a tiny bit (in our heads) like autumn. And I got a hankering for cider doughnuts. I can pin-point the exact first time (and one of only two) I had cider-doughnuts:
It was at Taft Farms: a country vegetable-fruit-bread-stuff stand in the Berkshire mountains from which Uncle Lon and Aunt Heather bought much of their food during the summers when they lived up there so Aunt Heather could work at Tanglewood. That one summer--the beautiful, glorious week--when Sarah, Daniel, and I went up to visit, Uncle Lon drove us to Taft Farms and paid the laughing girl in the baseball cap for a white paper-bag with the grease-spots coming through and in that bag was heaven on earth. We bought the doughnuts one more time on that trip (sometime after Boston and Fort Ticonderoga) and I've never been that close to the Other Shore since. ;)

because you all need gratuitous cuteness in your day.

Well. All that melodrama to say, I thought to myself that we'd make cider-doughnuts while Mama was at a funeral. (morbid, I know) But it appears that the cider part of cider-doughnuts actually has something to do with cider and not just a reference to the best coupling of beverage with bakery-treat. C'est la vie-- we'er all excited for fall around here, but I'm not exactly sure that Food Lion sells apple-cider yet. Anyway, Sarah came to the rescue by telling me that inside that Carlo's Bakery cookbook (don't you love how New England rallied for us?) there was a recipe for Buddy's doughnuts; they didn't require cider (woo-hoo) and they didn't require butter (woo-hoo). And we happened to have a tub of lard on hand for frying, which never EVER happens. (WOO-HOO)

I made up the dough with Levi, and had lots of fun watching him watch me. (and help a bit) The batter looked like dubious cookie-dough, though, so I shoved it in the freezer per instructions and lived as a doubting Thomasina for the next several hours.

Jimsie was none too keen on the loud mixer

But afterward he insisted on turning it on...

...and messing about with a teaspoon and a bit of flour...

Awwww, itty bitty toe-prints in the spilled flour!

We rolled out the dough per Buddy's instructions and cut out the doughnuts with a mason-jar lid and a little medicine-cup....there was nothing left to do but fry them up! So Sarah and I melted and heated lard from our friends' farm, figuring that people used to cook doughnuts in lard, so why not? :) We also double-checked with the rest of the cookbook and saw that since cannoli can be cooked in lard, it's not like the doughnuts would come out tasting like bacon. (though isn't that the trend right now?) I don't understand that....the other day on Google+ I saw a picture of a friend's ideal burger: a patty smushed between two glazed doughnuts....the opposite of what I would imagine to be tasty. Oh well. To each his own culinary adventures, oui?

After removing the doughnuts (and holes) from the lard, we rolled them in cinnamon and sugar. Yum! 

Jimsie approved.

So did Grace

I would have liked to see a bit more flavor inside the doughnuts, so next time I would like to try an honest-to-goodness apple-cider-dough recipe, but these were amazing when fresh off the stove and paired with a cup of French Press coffee. Bon appetite! 

Old-Fashioned Doughnuts:

(makes at least twelve doughnuts)

I have edited the recipe to reflect how I did it

3 c. all-purpose  flour, plus more for the work surface

1 c. sugar

3/4 c. milk with a tablespoon of lemon-juice dissolved inside

2 extra-large eggs

2 Tbs. coconut oil

2 tsp. baking power

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. salt 

1/2 tsp. cinnamon

Lard for frying

cinnamon & sugar for rolling

1. Mix half the flour with sugar, milk, eggs, oil, baking soda and powder, salt, and cinnamon in a mixer. When smooth, add remaining flour.
2. Turn dough onto plastic wrap and chill for at least one hour or up to three days. Dough will be TERRIBLY sticky and not look anything like you think doughnut-dough ought.
3. Remove dough from fridge and let sit till room temperature
4. Flour work surface and work half the dough into a 7-inch square, 1/2 inch thick. Fold in third, the roll it again into a 7-inch square. (this doesn't have to be precise)
5. Punch out doughnuts, or roll balls by hand. (repeat with other half of dough when ready)
6. Heat lard in pan till it is about 1 1/2 inches deep. Heat to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Drop doughnuts in two or three at a time and fry till golden brown on both sides, flipping with a wooden spoon when one side is done.
7. Remove from pan and dab excess grease off onto paper towels. While still hot, roll in cinnamon and sugar.
8. Repeat with remaining raw doughnuts.
9. Eat hot with a cup of French Press coffee, and enjoy! :) 

The Shrinkage Diaries: Almond Joy Truffles

Dear Figure,

     The start to this week has been most wonderfully heartening because despite the fact that it has only been a week on the quest to you, I did think Sunday that I caught a glimpse of you lurking about. Mama further pleased me by stating that my body seems to respond nicely to Shrinkage efforts and she could tell after one week that I was on the right track and that I was gaining a waist. Yippee. I've foiled all your attempts thus far at eluding me.

      But at certain times in a girl's life, she craves treats, and when she is trying to find a Figure (yes, in spite of the buckeye brownie she chose to eat on a coffee date), she goes on a track to find the best recipes. And sometimes she decides to fling caution to the wind and completely change a recipe so it doesn't look a thing like the original. Thus, Figure, I have outwitted your schemes to make me crave chocolate, and I now present for you and all other Shrinkers, the Clean-Eating Almond Joy Truffle. 

Clean-Eating Almond Joy Truffles

• 3/4 c. almond butter
• 1/2 honey
• 1 3/4 c. rolled oats
• 1/4 c. unsweetened, flaked coconut
• 1/4 tsp. cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1/3 c. cocoa
• 1/2 c. raisins
• 1 Tbs. + 1 tsp. coconut oil
• 60% cocoa chips for dipping

1. Warm almond butter and honey

2. Mix other ingredients together, then add the almond butter and honey and roll into 1" balls.

3. Chill for a little while you melt chocolate chips with the additional teaspoon coconut oil. Remove from fridge and dollop chocolate on tops of truffles.

4. Cut a few raisins into triangles and poise on top of truffles.

Makes approximately 30 truffles

Figure...these things are killer. Seriously. They taste just like Almond Joy bars, and certainly don't leave you wanting for anything else. I managed to exercise every day last week. What is hilarious is that I didn't mean to exercise Sunday, but I worked myself into a rather bad humor and decided to dose myself with one of my fierce, wonderful walks on which I pray aloud and come home cheerful as you please. I ended up walking at least a mile and a half or so, which made me laugh when I realized God had managed to change my attitude and help me with Shrinkage all at once.

I did see you Figure. I really did. And this T-shirt showing less lumps is witness. Boo-yeah. Stay tuned, Figure, for more shockingly amazing recipes which include Peach and Chocolate-Banana Froyo recipes!

    Chasing after you with a club and my awesome truffles,

                            Rachel

Edible Mr. Darcy? Okay....

Though it has been a long while since I've posted an update about my English Lit. class, it hasn't been so long that you've forgotten about it. (I hope) For those of you who are new aboard ship, I teach an English Literature class for two of my younger sisters who are in the late middle school-early highschool age range. We've been going through Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, but I admit to having grown lax in the last several months in my teaching. Yesterday, however, I sat down and planned out a couple of lessons.

I felt it was a befitting way to spend the 200th anniversary of Pride and Prejudice! :) I have been wanting the girls to get through the book a bit quicker than we've done yet. We were reading aloud to each other two chapters each session, and managed a session or two a week. At any rate, we were only at Chapter 20 out of 40-some, so I needed us to pick up the pace. I will assign them 4 chapters a session to have read and take notes on in the off-days, and then we'll come together to do a couple activities, discuss key points, ideas, shoes and ships and sealing wax and cabbages and kings. 

But to ease the girls into this new regime and to celebrate the bicentennial of such a fabulous book, I decided we'd make Pride and Prejudice cookies...I looked on Pinterest in a lazy moment and saw all sorts of beautiful Jane Austen cookies, but none took my fancy. Okay. So I'd have to be creative on my own. Converting my mad hypothetical-cake-decorating skills (learned from watching too much Cake Boss) into cookie skills, I put together a plan...I made a batch of sugar cookies and cut some into squares, then made a furling banner type thingamabobber out of paper and cut around it with a knife. The cookies were baked, and when they were cool I made a Royal Icing paste. Literally nothing but powdered sugar, egg whites, and water. I iced them carefully and left the icing to harden overnight.

The bigger scheme? Paint favorite quotes from P&P onto the icing with concentrated food coloring. Would it work? I hoped so. 

The girls were monstrously curious over what on earth these rather drab-looking cookies were for. As you can see from my white-board lesson plan, the first activity was for the girls to choose a character from the book and write a congratulatory letter to Jane Austen in that character's "voice". While they did that, I tested my Theory of Decorating...

Nailed it.

I was so thrilled.

The girls were none the wiser yet, and worked away at their card-making:

They nailed it too. :)

Finally I got to show the girls what our next assignment was, and food-dye ink reigned for the next half-hour as we all bent over our cookies and used teeny paintbrushes to endow them with clever sentiments from the novel itself.

We took some license and included a movie quote or two...

I had so much fun making these, and realized that this technique is now for sure going into my Awesomeness Arsenal, to bring out on special occasions like weddings and graduations. Seriously, these would be adorable as wedding favors!

Mine above, Leah's below.

The picture is a little blurry, but it says, "I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in a pretty woman can bestow..." ;)

Aren't they just darling? First day back at class was a smash. :) Thank you, Jesus!

Oodles of holiday cheer. :)

Traditionally we kick off our "holiday" messes the day after Thanksgiving with a round of Black Friday shopping. This year Abigail joined us which was gobs of fun. She was a good sport. She doesn't like shopping, but she went with us. :) We joined up with others of our Peoples and had a good time of it. I didn't buy much--only a book I'm not liking and a cute belt--but I got to explore a store called Wet Seal and loved it! Some of their stuff is a little out there, but for the most part I had an odd, glorious sensation of "ME! SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS MY STYLE!" I was sorely tempted to buy a red beret/tam, but I didn't have enough money. Instead, Abigail and I bought matching belts. We also tried on "scandalous" dresses in JC Penny's, and though you might get a severe case of the giggles from seeing the pictures, I don't want them up here for everybody and his brother to see. ;) We shall keep this on the down-low.

This morning before Abigail and Daniel left for Warrenton to have a second Thanksgiving with her family, we went to Food Lion to pick out our Christmas tree.

Yes, I said Food Lion.

You can stop gawking. 

Food Lion has way better trees than anyone. Seriously. They're way high on the Chub-o-meter, which is important to me! I hate anemic trees. It's like: "You want to be a willow? Okay. Just don't expect me to choose you to stand in my living room all December." Haha!

Sharpening my teeth. Er. Candy cane. Yes. Candy cane. ;)

It's a tradition in our family to whet our candy-canes while choosing a tree. We sharpen them into impossible points and fear we'll pierce our tongue and then break the tips when we get too excited about the Chub-factor of a particular tree.

Mr. Man is growing up! </3

But he still sits in a high-chair and he still eats cucumbers with Great Relish.

Awwww. Such a kissable chap.

*starts humming certain lines from "Santa Baby" and wishing her brain wouldn't do that.*

After we got home it was terriblyterriblyterribly quite evident that we needed to clean our house before church. 

And while we were house-cleaning, we thought we'd better take down all our autumn decor....

....

And while we were taking down our autumn decor we thought, "Why not put up the Christmas stuff?"

....

And while we were putting up Christmas stuff I was like, "Why don't I make Gingerbread men?"

So the All of Us did both simultaneously, and I made a point to take pictures. So there. And my computer accepted them and was ultra-fast in uploading. So there.

The advent log.

**nostalgia**

Beginnings of corner decorating. Over the days I'll take some more pictures. Evening lighting in our house is dubious at best.

My pussy thought it a good idea to sit in a basket and oversee production of gingerbread men...

So of course I picked her up--basket and all--and hugged her...

....

And stole a kiss or two...

Aaaaaaand that's when the calamity happened. 

One of my helpers Whose Name Shall Be Omitted spilled a glass of water all over Gingerbread Town and be-sogged the inhabitants, upon which they unanimously fell apart. Literally. It was devastating.

Cricket sat there like...

"Really? Really? You did not just spill that water."

The Pirate looked on grimly...

THE HULK stared at me in pain as his leg toppled off.

This chap called for help....

So Captain America and the Black Widow came running to the rescue, The Hulk being incapacitated by his late injuries. We mourn his loss...there will be no recovery. Levi and I shared him. :P

 Captain America is getting rather plump of late.

Seriously. Have you ever tried to make a ginger-bread woman have an hour-glass figure? It's impossible. Literally impossible. Now she looks like a clown missing buttons. *le sigh*

Mid-calamity, I paused to bake some rolls...

(we were having a Thanksgiving Dinner re-play)

In the end, the Inhabitants who were not effected by the tsunami helped me set up a hospital where the victims could crumble in peace.

Look: He's crying. It was awful.

This one was brave throughout his injuries. 

But he's an old war veteran--see that scar by his eye? He won it in a tussle with the red fox and the little old woman and the little old man. But he couldn't out-run the tsunami this time. :(

It was not a terribly unhappy ending though, because some of the residents came our all right with all their limbs intact. :)

A good many of them, in fact.

And the Gingerbread Baby was saved, which is a mercy. 

Here are my companions in First Aid Rescue, Gingerbread creation, and taste-testing. They are good sorts, and I am blessed to call them mine. :)